The Search is Over

I finally found the perfect jeans & stocked up with 4 pair.

Since I lost & am losing weight bit by bit, I had to refresh my jeans collection.

I discovered the Levi 569 Loose/Straight fit & hunted like hell at local stores to find a 30 length. The search was rough & I only found one pair.

So today I took the search online & found them at Macy's for 31.99 on sale & purchased 3 pair (different colors). Later I found them online through another retailer 2 bucks cheaper.

The sad thing about my search was that neither Levi store nor their online shop had my size. I guess they think juicy brothas don't shop with them.

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Recent Jean Reflections
My last claim for the perfect jean was Old Navy's Boot Cut fit but I guess they are not making them anymore, so I guess the ones I have now are in their last days of me wearing them.

Jeans Before I Turned 22
Back in the day, I would only wear designer jeans & pay all kinds of money but now that I’m no longer a brand whore, I save a lot of money. It's funny how something so simple such as buying jeans can turn into a major ordeal!

- Girbaud jeans Skinny Coybow & Brand X fits used to be my die-hard favorites jeans. I really thought I was sexy in this one pair of Skinny Cowboys, I was about 18 at the time. This girl who kinda looked funny used to tell me that my booty looked cut in them.

- Guess Pascal used to make me feel like I was a sophisticated brotha especially when I wore them with a shirt & tie. Guess no longer makes the Pascal fit & it is such a shame. The shit they put out now is way too flash. Oh wait, I remember when I was in the 10th grade & got me a Guess short overall, which was a ghetto must have.

- I thought I was all that when I got me a Used Jeans. I actually had one used outfit & it was in the lay-a-way for a month in a half. I made payments on it when I got my little Wendy's check. One day I came home from school early & caught my mom in my Used jeans outfit & was pissed off & from that point it was hers. People could not know that my momma & I wore the same damn clothes. Looking back it was really funny because when I walked in the house, she had it on with a pair of high heels with her legs crossed smoking on a Benson & Hedges cigarette.

- Oh & I was really all that when I got me 2 Damaged Jeans outfits as a gift from my mom. I made sure that she did not wear those.

- Jeans I really wanted way back when were some Cross Colors & some Karl Kani's. I was so jealous of many of my friends who had these, including Cousin Dee. Although I made my own money & purchase many of my own clothes, my mom threatened to beat me down if I can in her house with some pimp pants.
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Is you got you some blue jean tales???

When a Client Calls

A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by Drake Phifer of Urban Organic who needed some updated photos of himself.

Days later, we were confirmed & the shoot was on.  We set up at a few somewhat on the street spots midtown Detroit & I found myself in challenging light conditions, cold windy weather but all with a client who was flexible & easy to work with.

It was fun doing this type of job for portraits & something that I miss from my Detroit Fashion Pages days.

After Drake got the photos, he contacted me & really stroked my ego with praise for the work I submitted. Later I ran into him & his wife & she echoed his sentiments, which made me feel proud of my little skills.

Hopefully when the image(s) appear in African American Family Magazine (the main purpose for the photos), I can get a few client hits.

On a on the grind note, last week, I contacted Wire Images to find out what it takes to be one of the photographers.  I left a message got no call back so far, so guess who I will be hitting up tomorrow!!!

Why Bother

I stopped for gas yesterday before work & when I pulled up tot he pump, this is what the person before me got. I think it was enough to get to the next freeway exit.

I remember way back when, when 5 bucks would last for a few days. Now it lasts for an hour or so. It is sad to think that wages are going down while the price of gas & food are rising higher than ever. How will those with lesser means make it???

Funny thing about this also is, about 2 weeks ago, I was talking with a friend & told her that I was going to the gas station to get 5 bucks worth of gas. She laughed & said why bother. She said that when she sees people getting 5 bucks or less, she knows that some shit is about to go down. The only person that gets that small amount is a get-away-car driver. We both laughed!

Sad State of Affairs

What the hell kind of weed was OJ smoking when he admitted to killing his wife & her boo? That must have some good shit for him to slip up & expose the truth that we all know but love to deny.

Sad thing is that he cannot be retried, he is not the 1st person to get away with murder (well, maybe the 1st Black man to get away with murdering a white woman) & will not be the last. I wonder how his kids feel about him????

What the fuck took so long to get R. Kelly’s trial going??? In the last six years, that nigga released like 8 albums, made me “step in the name of love” countless times, he did 35 collabos & paid for 4 abortions. Honestly, why is this going to trial??? I saw the video when it was circulating & if that was not R. Kelly, maybe he was kidnapped & got into some “face off” type shit.

The (obviously willing) victim is now twenty-damn-three & is denying that it is her in the video. Can you say, the dick brainwashed her (she needs to talk to Alexyss) & she mos def got paid off.

The Detroit City Council is a step closer in getting Kwame’s delusional ass out of office. All I wanna know is what can I do to help!

In other news:

1st) Who made that dress?
2nd) Likeded is not a word!
3rd) Why does she have that big ass tattoo on her chest & that tongue ring?
4th) Why is this in the news, & who really cares?
5th) Last but not least, where is her momma. I would have said where are the parents but it is clear that there is no father around.
6th) Can't wait to see this featured on the Hot Ghetto Mess website.

In personal news:
- I got a Myspace message from my sister Baby today that stated “just left the doctors and my due date is 11-11-08 yes i'm having a baby”. OK, WTF!!!

1st) Why would you Myspace message that kind of news. This is worse that a text message. So impersonal!!! And why didn’t you just tell me this bittersweet news when you saw me Saturday?
2nd) Last week you called me because you were out of money & food until your current boo got paid & begged me to order you a pizza so yall grown asses could have something to eat. How are you going to afford another mouth to feed. Oh wait, I know food stamps. Duh!!!!
3rd) You don’t have a job now, have not had one for months, is this a sign of a life line system lifestyle?
4th) Why is my mom so excited about this new baby? Yes I know it is another grandchild who will be precious, but all I see is another bastard child who will be sharp as hell & living in the lap of ghetto luxury.
5th) My sister changes her boo more than she changes her panties. I started to ask whose it was but that just would have been too fucked up for me to even ask.
6th) Why do I have to have that one sibling that people talk about at the family reunion?

I love my Baby, but she makes the worst life decisions ever. I wanted to call her so bad tonight but all I would have to say would have been counter productive & a waste of breath. What’s done is done.

In political news:
- Will someone fucking take over Myanmar with an international coup. I really do not understand why the government over there is denying aid. I saw videos of all of the squalor & dead bodies floating around to this day. I guess if I was a Katrina victim, I would stop complaining right about now, or at least until the FEMA checks ran out.

- Hillary, you mos def can’t count & we all know you can’t budget. Drop the fuck out & have a BBQ with your hard working white supporters. How dare you insinuate that white Americans are the only ones that are middle class, hard workers etc. This is the exact reason your campaign is going down faster than Monica Lewinsky or Karrine Steffans in a room full of hot dick & nuts.

- George Bush, fuck pictures of your daughter's wedding cuz I don’t give a fuck!!! I wanna see my damn stimulus package check. I need some damn gas money bitch.

Kissing Cousins

Boo Boo & Bay Bay don't get to play together often but when they do, all hell breaks loose. They had so much fun at my moms the other day, that I did not mind all of the screaming they did (why do kids like to scream???). They look so cute together.

I hope that when they grow up that they have a close relationship like Cousin Dee & I.  Everyone needs a bestest friend that is their cousin.

To All The Baby Mommas

Occaisional Rain

"There was rain today
And crystal blue was hidden by a cloudy gray
A sudden shower come to chase the sun away
Occasional rain

Damn the weatherman
He seems to work against me any way he can
And he’s been dealing tear-drops since the world began
And occasional pain

And blue you, don’t believe I’m talking to you
The light is shining through you- still you will not see
Blue you- think I’m trying to undo you
When I only want to seek the Truth

And speak true
I can’t tell you when
But someday soon we’ll see the sun re-born again
And there’ll be light without as well as light within
And occasional rain"

Terry Callier 1972

Whenever I listen to Terry Callier's older music, I feel like I'm transported back in time for some reason. His newer music inspires me to want more of myself, my people & my love. If you are not up on him & like old soul/folksy type music, check him out. If you are a house fan, he has some pretty cool remixes out there. iTunes Boo!

Finally........

15 years post high school graduation & taking college classes off & on has finally amounted to something tangible.

Next week, I graduate from my extended stay at Washtenaw Community College!!!  Last week, I felt kinda funny about going to the graduation ceremony but now I am excited about it now that I got my cap & gown.

I passed my last math class with an A- & I am so happy to have math out of my scholastic life!!!  When I checked my grade online today, I was totally fucking shocked and I guess I am no longer a math dummy

On to Eastern Michigan University in the fall, which I am vowing to be down within in 3 years (only need 50 credits & I'm out that bitch).  I joked with BFB today that when school starts in the fall, I am going to get me an EMU sweatshirt, bumper sticker, & license plate cover.  He suggested not getting the bumper sticker.

Gotcha!

Suite Suzy does not like having her picture taken & whenever I try she grimaces but last night at dinner she gave in & I loved the results. She is part of the reason my girls are so beautiful but it is mostly me:)

DoYouLikeBaduLikeIDoBoo

Erykah Badu performed last night in Detroit with the Roots & the show was KICK ASS. I got so many awesome shots & I am so feeling myself right now. I may post one more, but I think this is a pretty good tease for now.

Don't you just love press passes???

Take a Bite Please

I have not given a Watermelon Award away in quite some time.  Actually the last one I gave out was to Kanye West after he referred to light skinned Black video hoes as “mutts”.  I think about who deserves a Watermelon Award all the time but never put it down on paper & basically talk shit to my friends about possible recipients.

Well now that the semester is coming to an end, and I’m feeling free; it’s time to issue some awards to some ghetto superstars.

The 1st award goes to Jeremiah Wright.  Why?  Well, because I think he should have held his tongue so that his former parishioner, mentee & friend Barack Obama could wrap up the Democratic nomination process.  I have been watching the coverage of his antics since his appearance in Detroit (city of many fools) & I have not been impressed.  He had the perfect opportunity to change national perceptions & all he did was make shit worse, a) for himself/reputation & b) for Barack.

Truth be told, I actually agree with a lot of what Wright has to say but there comes a point when a nigga needs to shut the fuck up especially when he is harming someone who has aspirations larger than thyself.  Barack is trying to become the fucking president of the US, why would you open your mouth & possibly fuck that up???

Jeremiah put your foolish pride aside & let another brotha have the stage please.  And while you are on the sidelines, please have a slice of watermelon!

The 2nd award goes to; you guessed it, Kwame Kilpatrick.  Special K, why are you denying that you & Freaky Chris (Christine Beatty) never sent all them text messages?  If you two did not send them, who in the fuck did.  And do you really think that you are that important for someone to frame you?  Muthafuckas dubbed the Hip Hop mayor are not all that important.  Please look in the mirror & wake the fuck up!  If you spent more time eating watermelon instead of Freak Chris, you would not be in this hot mess.

If Freaky Chris got her shit together & your hot dick & nuts off her mind, she would turn evidence on your ass.  And speaking of hot dicks & nuts, Kwame must have fucked the shit out of her to have this bitch about to face time for his ass.  Man, talk about dick whipped.  He had her ass hypnotized. She needs to watch a few Alexyss K Tylor videos t o get out of her dick-oriented matrix!

The 3rd award goes to the nigga that got on the elliptical machine next to me at the gym yesterday (he also happens to be the gym hot mess of the week).  Why did you come in the gym musty?  Why did you have to get on the machine next to me & talk to your friend who was on elliptical machine to my right?  I was sandwiched between to fools talking about absolutely nothing & loud as hell.  The sad thing was both of their breath was off the chain & smelled like severe halitosis.  I was surrounded by aroma of badussy (booty, dick & pussy) & crack head scented armpits.  By the time I left the gym, I had a pounding funk induced headache.

Do you have any Watermelon Award recommendations for this week???

Follow the White Rabbit

Caption Me

Oooh, oooh oooh, me first: I couldn't take it no mo' so I had to cut that nigga!

Untitled For a Reason

A Confessed 19%er

After last Tuesday PA primary, I was a little down because BO lost by 9.4%.  After CNN called the race I was like shit, what we’s gone do now.

During HC speech, I found myself having a harder time looking at her marionette type face.  Every word she spoke turned me off, but deep down, way deep down, I was like good for her; even liars & back stabbers can be winners some times.

On the flip side, I was not even in the mood to here BO speak so I cut the tv off & feel asleep with May 6th on my mind.  I am thinking that if BO cannot take BO, the shit is over & it will get a whole lot nastier for real.

Going back to the tv.  One thing that stuck with me in terms of all of the Gallup Poll stats thrown out by the CNN commentators was the fact that 28% of HC’s supporters will back JM if BO is the Democratic party nominee & 19% of BO’s supporters will back JM if HC is the Democratic party nominee.  I was like shit, those numbers are tough no matter how you slice it.

I said months ago that if HC was the Democratic nominee, I was not going to vote at all & possible reject no I mean denounce my citizenship if she won.

Today I feel a little different because I kinda like JM although his tightly packed yellow teeth, turkey neck & partially embalmed body make me want to throw up in my shirt.

Another thing that is bothering about my decision to be 19% is the fact that if I do not vote, I am fucking over our predecessors who fought for voting rights.  And the voting rights act was passed only 43 years ago & recently renewed.  Do I really want to sale out the people that died to have the choice that I have?  In terms of my other conscious do I want to sale myself out by voting for someone that I think will suck if they were in office.  Things would be much more simple of we had candidates that had it all; integrity, honest, not too ugly, not hated around the world, can speak a complete sentence that makes since, no DUI’s, drug issues, no huge sexual appetite that makes them creep etc.

Anyway, I am an anxious 19% hoping for the best from BO over the next few weeks.  I hate to say it, but I hope that BC makes another fuck-up & HC tells another lie & I hope that someone else asks CC where’s Monica to just piss her off.  BTW, where is Monica & I wonder who she’s backing in the race.  We all know she loves a democrat.

Since we are talking about politricks, check out LosAngelista’s latest post “Tough Enough”,  I’m loving it!

Inner Beauty

The magnolia tree flower is amazing & absolutely beautiful.  Magnolia blooms are the texture & color of a wonderfully soft dream; the blooms have a thick perfume that is intoxicating and sexy.  The springtime beauty of this tree is like a deep sexual encounter that only lasts a little while, leaving you totally satisfied but wanting a little more.

Why can't they always be this way?  Why can’t life always be beautiful?  Why can’t we a people look inward to find another’s beauty without defining them by their outward appearance. 

Lastly, why is it so hard to find the perfect pair of jeans?

Post Jump Off: Hey Boo

Dear Blog,

I am back up in this bitch & I hope that I will not bore you with a little Bygbaby potpourri.  I told you that a lot has been going on so I will try to be as brief as possible

“Although inspired in part by a true incident, the following story is fictional but not really and does not depict any actual person or event but it really does but I can’t say.”

School & Making it Through
My last math test was a b-eye-itch!  I really did not study & felt half way confident that I would do ok to get a C because I was at the point of not giving a fuck, I just want this shit ova!  So this Monday’s class was results & I had my fingers crossed to get a C.  The instructors lands the graded test in front of me & I had a big fat 93%!!!  I was like, is this my shit???  I was so geeked but even more excited that I have one test left.  At this point, I am looking at getting a B out of the class.  It will be great if I can pull off a B+ because my GPA will stay just above a 3.0, which means that I get my transfer scholarship when I land at the EMU business school in the fall.

Yes, the last piece of my last sentence is right.  I am finally fucking done with community college after a very sporadic 7 years of classes here & there.

I found out Monday that I was eligible to graduate this May from WCC.  1st thing Monday am, I met with the assistant dean at the b-school of EMU who looked at my transcript & was like what the are you waiting for, you need to be here now!  We combed through my current credits & the requirements of the BA program & all I need is 15 classes to have a BA with a specialization in HR.  15 classes ain’t shit now, I am looking forward to knocking them out.  I am ultra excited & cannot wait to be on my way to a 4 year degree.

My family & were excited to hear my little news & that made me feel good.  Thx to all of my blogging friends ho have lifted me up during the last 2 years especially with the math drama!!!

So I will be going to the little graduation ceremony next month & mostly to show my girls that this shit matters.  Some time next month I also plan to have a little party to celebrate with my friends who tease me about being the oldest nigga in my classes.

To celebrate myself (and I do that so well), I am getting a Vaja messenger bag in dk brown with red trim.  I need a bag upgrade desperately because my Coach messenger bag looks like it was taken from an organized crack head!!!

Photos & Soul for Sale
Sunday before last, I uploaded 13 photos to iStockphoto & Wednesday before last 9 were approved & 4 were rejected.  I was pretty excited about that.  By Thursday, I was a whole ¢26 richer!!!  One of my photos sold & I was so geeked.

I’m using iStockphoto as a litmus  test to see if some of my work as commercial viability in the stock industry.  If things go pretty good, then I will step my game up & try to join a stock house.

Time & sales will tell, so stay tuned.

Gym Hot Mess of the Week
If you go to the gym, you are familiar with a lot of the hot mess that walks up in there.  I usually do a gym hot mess of the week based on some of the tacky shit that people wear, do & say.  Before yesterday, the Overbuff Muscled Headed Negro (I have names for them all) was my gym hot mess of the week.  He’s new & when I first saw him, I was like WTF is up with those huge blue jean MC Hammer pants.  The as I got closer to him, I was like what is that shit hanging off your face.  Well upon closer inspection, I saw that it was a single lock, at least 8 ft long that he had wrapped around his neck like some type of necklace.

Well, yesterday, the Overbuff Muscled Headed Negro was no longer the gym hot mess of the week.  The Long Faced Red Locked Fat Boy was the official gym hot mess of the week.  Yes, I am the Long Faced Red Locked Fat Boy & it is impossible for me to be beat for this weeks title!  Let me tell you why.

Yesterday morning before work, I packed my gym bag & cross checked to be sure I have everything; tight work out shorts, over shorts, t-shirt, socks, gym shoes, hair tie, pad lock, water bottle, & towel.  Once I verified everything, I hit the door.  So now it’s 645, I’m at the gym getting ready to change.  So I go through the bag & was like shit, where is my t-shirt, where are my socks????  Did that shit leap out of my bag this am???

So I was like damn, I’m happy that I wore a wife beater today, because usually when it warms up outside, I don’t wear undershirts.  Well at least my shirt problem was solved or so I thought.  Once I took off me shirt, I realized that I had on a beat up wife beater with a hole all up in the front & it was “a little” ill fitted & basically tight as hell.  I was like I am going to look nasty as hell with this janky shit on.

Ok so now I take my shoes off & saw that I had on a pair of wildly colored argyle socks that were slight moist (yuk).  So who was I going to walk out of the locker room looking like a crack head by the socks & t-shirt with partially wet socks.  Damn my feet felt nasty.

After an abbreviate workout, I left looking a hotter mess than I did when I hit the gym floor.  I need to double & triple check my bag before leaving the house now, because I do not want to be the winner of my own mind game.

I told Cousin Dee about this & we both died laughing!!! I think sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves to stay sane.

Price of Rice
Yesterday while working out at the gym as the hot mess of the week, I was watching CNN & heard several stories about rice shortages & rice rationing from US retailers.  That shit made me have a mini panic.  I called Suite Suzy & told her to stock us up on rice ASAP.  She was like, do you know how much rice I buy.  I was like no.  She was like 25lbs at a time.  I was like ok, get 50bls.  She was like, that is enough for 6 months, then I was like fuck it, get 75lbs.  She was like, are you crazy!  I was like, I do not want to be caught out there with out being able to have my Basmati rice or paying high ass prices.  She talked me down a bit but came home with 50lbs worth.

My next 8 food recipes will all involve Basmati rice, so stay tuned!!! LOL.

I’d Rather Homeless
Sunday, my sister Baby called me & told me that she was about to be evicted from her apartment if she did not come up with 390 bucks before her eviction hearing, which was today.  So I was like, sorry boo, can’t help! But lets talk about what options you do have, which were not many.

Bottom line is that she & her boyfriend, I mean current jump off are totally irresponsible.  I cannot offer finances to support losers who have chronic cash issues.  I felt bad because I do not want my nephew Bay Bay caught up in her ghetto drama but I cannot save someone who does not want to save their self.

Yesterday, I call Baby up to see how she’s doing & she was like, I’m fine, just busy packing.  I was like, so nothing panned out & she was like no.  How can two adults not come up with 390 bucks (Only an elitist would ask that type of question!!!)???

I was like, you know my door is always open to you & Bay Bay (notice, I did not say you boo!!!) without a doubt & she was like that’s OK, we will be fine.  So I was like, so where are you going to go & she was like, I don’t know.  I was like, Baby, come stay with me until you get your shit together.  She was like no & I was like, why not, then she was like, I cannot live with you, I was like what???  You cannot live with me???  She was like no.  I was like what, are you telling me that you would rather be homeless with your child then live with me.  She was like yes.  I was fucked up.

At this point, I had nothing else to say other tan good luck & talk to you later.

So now, I’m like, I must be fucked up, a horrible person, a bitch, the nigga no one wants to be around right,,,

Fast forward a few hours, I’m hurt by what Baby said to me & I had to consult with my inner circle.  So I called my mom, Suite Suzy, Cousin Dee & BFB (individually), & told them what jumped off.  They all were like fuck her, yes even mamma.  They all said you were ok when she wanted money!!!!

Fast forward a few hours more, & I get a call from Baby.  She called to ask me how much it was to go to NYC.  I broke down airfare & hotel & she was like ohhhh.  I was like, why are you moving there now?  She was like no, I’m planning for my B-day.  I was like, oh, OK.  & in my mind, I was like should you not be concentrating on getting a place to live???

After that, I told her she hurt my feeling & from there a fight ensured.  Bottom line is, she really is a loser.  I love her but she has some fucked up priorities & my hands are dusted & I am with a free conscious.  Just because I look like I have it going on, does not mean that I can just break people off change.  And even if I did, have all kinds of money, I still would not be all like here you go boo.

I have no idea hat my sister’s lifestyle means for Bay Bay…

Anyway, I am using my 400 bucks for my custom Vaja bag, not another niggas rent! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.  Sorry Baby.

Car Troubles
I was so excited about my Prius but it is now dead & that’s because I’m not getting that bitch.  When the car came in, the dealership tried to fuck me over on my trade in & being fucked over is not something that I’m into.

So for now, I am saying fuck the environment & will continue to burn a whole in the ozone layer & my pocket with this damn SUV V6 engine.

Good thing I got them 4 damn tires.

Blooms So Shiny

The trees in my neighborhood are a huge distraction while driving! Why did I almost hit a parked car today because I was staring at one of my neighbor’s ornamental cherry tree.

Spring is in the air & I love it!!!

Pre Jump Off: I Miss You

Hey Boo, Dear Diary, Dear Blog

I have missed you so much over the last week!  There have been so many things to say, so many things occured, so many thought have ran through my mind, but unfortunately, I have not had time to talk to you.

The end of the semester is getting to me & making it hard to formalize thoughts to share with you. My camera has been idle & I am in desperate need for a few cocktails!!!

I hope that we can talk again soon because, well just because & maybe tomorrow for the Thursday night “Jump Off” when I can relax a little bit.

We really need to talk about the bitch slap that lying ass Billary gave Obama last night in PA. but I am so not ready to go there now!!!

Before I leave, I think you will be happy to know that Suite Suzy & I both admitted that we do not want a divorce.  I know, I know, the last time I talked about this, it was just in a draft form because I was so not totally ready to tell all my business to your ass but I can at least follow-up on the post that was not meant to be.

Before I tuck you in for the night, I know you love tackiness because you are my blog so here is a shot from my backyard.  Yes, I know pink flamingos are so white trailer trash but they are so cute fun to have around.

That’s all,
Tafari

Love on the Dance Floor

I just had to post it because it is so awesome.