Trish – This is an open forum & your thoughts are always welcome.

Your perspective sheds light that shows that no one is perfect.

Bygbaby

But seriously, I agree with liz 100% with the “if it’s love, it’s love. If folks seek it out because they’ve got some sort of issues with black men, then that’s unhealthy and the karma will bite them in the ass. But true love is true love. Blood is red, not black, white or tan.”

And as for all the comments about black women with the fake hair n’ shit? Oh, puh-leeeze. Do any of you know how many white chicks have so much fake on ‘em, if I were a guy, I’d be afraid to see what comes off between midnight n’ morning.

Blondes usually aren’t natural. Tanning salons and fake tanning cream companies are RAKING in the bucks off white women. Throw in some fake boobs, an ass lift, fake nails, fake eyelashes, coloured contact lenses, and makeup that looks like it’s been put on with a trowel… LOL If black guys are dating white women ’cause they don’t want fake, they are definitely taking the wrong off-ramp.

Love who you love. Love is not measured by education, a bank balance, or what kind of car he (or she!) has. I’m all about the pink puffy heart. :) All I ask for are warm n’ fuzzy feelings. :D

Id still like to see more men respond, but oh well.

L

Brunsli – That was more like 25¢. “You said “we need Black families to secure our future” then said “the one drop rule is always in effect.” So wouldn’t a black women and non-black man form a black family in your book?” Black maybe so, let me rephrase, I am talking about the fate of the Black man, woman & child as a unit.

“Byg & Darius: I don’t think women want the bad boy any more than men want the ho. It may be fun to kick it with them for a while, but not for a serious relationship.” Very good point, ho’s are only fun for so long, not that I had an experience.

Michelle W – “For me, could you tell me in what ways do you mean submit? If you mean submit to what it takes to build and sustain a relationship, then okay, that’s all good.” I am waiting on Darius to back that one up too.

Shay – Tipping was supposed to be tripping. I was typing too fast as always. The guy dogged her out on the date & made reference to her skin tone being kinda dark.

What I see more often than not is Black men with a white woman who looks like a hot damn mess/trashy.

Peejai – “I am currently in a 2.5 year relationship with a black man who has an associate’s degree but has only worked blue collar jobs, is struggling, but I love him to death.” That is what I am talking about & together you will both rise!

Naturally Sophia – “Here,there are more available women than available men. Available= not gay, not on the DL, having 2 kids or less, working. lol!” Hello!!! LOL I hear in ATL you got go there cuz that is a Black gay capital.

“Interracial dating,for me, is like resolving to be alone in that they are both not my first choice.” damn, that was deep boo & I hear you.

To all, I really enjoy how we can express ourselves openly & how you challenge me to stay on the ball!

Bybaby

I was going to let that “submit” go. I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he meant something like submitting a package equal to the package one requires in a partner. After all, he’s “intellectual, and tall & right!!”

Here,there are more available women than available men. Available= not gay, not on the DL, having 2 kids or less, working. lol! I have found very few preferred Black/Latino men. Preferred= straight, cute, healthy, young, no kids, educated, and working in a career. Of the preferred men, there are a myriad of all types of women chasing them. So why would a preferred man be interested in little ole chubby me when he can have a model, a video ho, someone to pay his bills, ect. ?

So, at my early age, I have resolved that I may never find this YBP man with the rest of the numerous Black womyn. And if I do find him, he may be cross county or overseas. Long distance relationships- another can of worms not to mention personality/family background issues. Then, there are normal rel’t issues to work thru.

The odds appear to be against preserving the Black family. This saddens me in a way I can’t express growing up in a 2 parent home. My parents (both Black) have been together for 40 years.

As for interracial dating, I say to each his/her own. But I don’t like dating White people personally. I have dated White men before and just don’t want to do it anymore. I feel most comfortable with and around Black people. Interracial dating,for me, is like resolving to be alone in that they are both not my first choice.

Good Post!

DTW- “submit”; fa real?

Anyway, I haven’t had hundreds of swims in the dating pool, but all the YBP that I met seemed to always want to be in competition with me. Always trying to prove they knew more than me (they never did). Especially those in technical fields (I’m an engineer). I am currently in a 2.5 year relationship with a black man who has an associate’s degree but has only worked blue collar jobs, is struggling, but I love him to death. We are different economic places right now, we have totally different backgrounds, but we love each other, we have the best time together, and we work it out.

To anonymous: it’s amazing how these men complain about fake hair but when they see a black woman rocking her own natural (no chemicals) hair many of them just can’t embrace it. When I decided to grow locks I had an ex-boyfriend tell me I should go back to straightening my hair, he actually said, and I quote, “I want you to look black but white”…WTF? Now all black men don’t feel this way, I still managed to get a few dates even with a TWA (emphasis on the word ‘few’ cuz a lot of black men want the long straight hair and or weave swinging in the breeze)

Anyway, fake hair and extra pounds is just a lame excuse. Dang…why is it always our fault like we drove them to white woman…hell, I don’t see anybody blaming white men or Asian men because so many of their women date black men or in the case of some Asian women white men.

Just admit it; you either A) Fell in love with a great woman who happened to be white B)Totally despise black women or C)are not attracted to black women or D) None of the above, you just ended up with whoever you ended up with.

Whatever the reason is it’s your business but stop blaming us, we are not all overweight with fake hair and bad attitudes.

P.S. I’ve seen plenty of brothers with full figured white women so once again that’s a bunch of B.S.

“How you gonna say you’re ready for a serious relationship but have no idea how to submit…is it really all about you?”

For me, could you tell me in what ways do you mean submit? If you mean submit to what it takes to build and sustain a relationship, then okay, that’s all good.

Single people act as though they are all of that. They have the whole world at their finger tips but no one to share it with. Many a night I have hugged my king sized pillow and I am not ashamed to admit it, but truthfully speaking, I’d rather sleep alone than start another relationship with an unsure brother who doesn’t have the “gumption” to get married. And that’s an exact quote.

Leaving class, education, finances and all that jazz aside, I think it’s hard to date because of the lack of men who want to settle down more than the lack w/o that long list of requirements that YBP women claim to demand.

To all women that read this I have a question…

Would you really not consider dating or marrying a man that is sweet, caring, hard working, attractive and loves the Lord all because he doesn’t make as much as you or because he doesn’t have a degree?

I can honestly say that Yeah I would date him and Marry his ass too. All that superficial stuff just leads to problems anyway.

You said — “Because I know that
she will find one. Because you are frustrated with the pool why rush outside to get into a situation with someone from another group & open up a whole can of worms.”

But don’t forget, women really do have biological clocks, and if we want to have children with a husband and not a baby-daddy, we really need to meet him by a certain age (say, 31) to have enough time to date, be engaged, get married, and then enjoy the marriage a while without kids, or face a high-risk pregnancy or no pregnancy at all. (Maybe make that 27!)

As for “another group,” African Americans are not a monolithic group. We’re from the North, from the South, from California, from Texas, Creole, West Indian, African, from high socioeconomic classes, from the ghetto, Christian, Muslim, Terry McMillian reading, James Baldwin reading … I can see many cans of worms in black-black relationships, just like in all relationships.

You said “we need Black families to secure our future” then said “the one drop rule is always in effect.” So wouldn’t a black women and non-black man form a black family in your book? (As you know, I reject the one-drop-rule. To me, it makes it seem blackness is a scourge inflicted upon a person, rather than a culture to be embraced.)

You said: “Yes I know America is the melting pot but we did not come here to blend.” Although I may have a different view as a first generation black person, but I don’t see my personal relationships in a political way. To me, it’s who I want to hold hands with for the rest of my life.

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Byg & Darius: I don’t think women want the bad boy any more than men want the ho. It may be fun to kick it with them for a while, but not for a serious relationship.

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Okay, maybe that was my 10 cents worth.

I do find it interesting that only one man has commented thus far. Perhaps more will come….
L

Ro – “I’m not gonna ask a man to wait for me to get my S#*% together. LOL we all got to start somewhere.

“And as far as the interracial thing, if it’s love, it’s love.” I agree but cannot stand serial mixers (those who are pressed to date someone other than…)

Anonymous – “I have heard black men complain they are sick of black women’s fake hair and extra pounds and that is why they date white women.” You could have came better than that!

Brunsli – “Oh my! Why did you beg your friend to hold out for a brother, Byg?” Because I know that
she will find one. Because you are frustrated with the pool why rush outside to get into a situation with someone from another group & open up a whole can of worms. I will always advocate for black love & unions, we need Black families to secure our future. Yes I know America is the melting pot but we did not come here to blend.

Maybe I am in a glass house because my wife is mixed but the one drop rule is always in effect.

Cluziel – “most of the YBP men I have run into are cocky as hell. I don’t understand the looking down upon blue collar brothers.” I had a friend go on a blind “hell date” the other day with a guy who had a good package but it was fucked up because he did not know how to act, was am elitist & was tipping on dark skinned sisters during the date. I was so embarrassed & ashamed of the YBP. he kinda makes me stance fucked up, no wait he does.

“.I just saw a FOINE electrician on the subway this morning…quit playing these games.” So did you step to him or vice versa?

Darius – Woman always seem to want the bad boy (the jump off) but this brother is not who they truly want. I do not understand the insatiable need of most woman to have all this earth shattering sex. In the end, you always get fucked over by the jump off. Do your thing man!!!