This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 18th, 2008 at 4:41 AM and is filed under Ala Bygbaby, Hmmmm, Hot Ass Mess. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Well from my post below, you could see that the trip got off to a good start, cool right???? Suite Suzy & I never made it to Junior’s in Brooklyn for lunch but we did make it to the Junior’s @ Grand Central Station, which was ALMOST as good.
After lunch we were walking back to the hotel & talking about various things blah, blah, blah. Then we come to the intersection of Park & 36th where the cars were lined up waiting to go down 36th. Since we had the right of way, we walked in between cars like others, no big deal right??? Well it was a big deal for me. Just before I got past this cab, he speed up & hit me. Yes, I fucking got hit by a damn cab while walking.
After I got up off my ass, I launched into a niggafied attack & asked the cab driver why the fuck did he hit me. “Why did you hit me BITCH”, “Are you fucking BLIND”, “I cannot believe you just tried to run my black ass over”. The bitch ass cab driver was like I’m sorry, I did not mean to do it. I then went into a blind ghetto rage & said “fuck you bitch” then out of no where took my 10 lb camera bag and swung it at his car making a major dent in the drivers side door.
At this point, I had a moment of clarity & was like OMG, did I just swing my camera bag at this bitch???? All the while the cab driver was like I’m sorry, I’m sorry etc. Moments later, I walked off & he then shouted to me to suck his cock (yeah, he was white). I shouted back, suck MY cock you dumb BITCH. Actually, I was the dumb bitch, a) for not punching him in the face b) for swinging my camera bag & c) for totally losing my cool.
Anyway, so now Suite Suzy & I continue to walk down Park & all the while I just kept saying, “I cannot believe what just happened”. About the 15th time I said, “I cannot believe what just happened”, this fat white chick with a tongue ring & flip-flops (I hate flip-flops) popped out of no where & was like “excuse me mister, can I ask you a few questions?” “I said no, you cannot ask me shit (I was still pissed)”. She looked shocked & said, “well I like your dreads” (why did she do that). I then said, “I do not have dreads, I have locks, do I look like a goddam Rastafarian???? Do some research you dumb ass.” Suite Suzy was like, let’s get you back to the room before you end up on Rikers Island tonight.
After we got back to the room, I called all my friends & told them what jumped off & of course, like any good storyteller, I had to add new & juicier elements to the story. I actually became laughable after telling the story for the 8th time (by this time it involved stitches, a police report, some ecstasy pills, a black eye & some semen).
The day progressively got better & ended us seeing “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof”, which was EXCE-FUKING-LLENT & a must see if you get the chance before the end of it’s run, which is this coming weekend. It was soooooooooooooo much better than what I expected (I actually did not know what to expect) & the cast was phenomenal, especially Terrance Howard aKa “Super Perm”.
The day ended with a bomb meal from Victor’s Cuban Café, (one of our must eat at spots) & me repeating the car accident story one more time to my sister, who asked if I beat his ass.
Tomorrow, while Suite Suzy, is in her conference; I will be walking the Brooklyn bridge & trying to find others things of photographic interest before dinner with a few blogging friends.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:55 AM
See, forget Sex in the City! This is the funniest NYC adventure I’ve read/seen/heard in AGES! “Do some research you dumb ass!!!” Bwah hah ahahaaaa!
Yeah, I would’ve lost my mind too but I don’t have a ten pound camera bag to swing on somebody! I’m glad you got taken back to the hotel because wowzer!!! Love it!
June 18th, 2008 at 12:13 PM
Um, dude, watch it with the camera… you DON’T want to do that (well, mine survived an SUV rollover, so hey).
OMG–thank you for the laugh. Your post is hilarious. I’m really glad you weren’t hurt. BUT, see, what you should’a done was call the police to get it on record that he hit you, get the cabbie’s license plate number and other info, and then later threaten to sue him if he didn’t fork over money to get you a couple’a pieces of new camera equipment… ;-)
I’d'a grabbed my neck and/or my back when he started yelling back, hehe. Scare the hell out of him.
Have fun on the rest of the trip!
June 18th, 2008 at 1:14 PM
Oh Lord…cab issues in NYC. That’s soo common.
June 18th, 2008 at 1:32 PM
me love time lapsed photography
June 18th, 2008 at 2:07 PM
hi tafari
i wish i would have known you were in town …. a little crazy for me this week , with production , and parents coming in …. enjoy yourself, i would have loved to have dinner with you and suite suzy , oh well i know you will come back !:)
June 18th, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Thx guys, the story is pretty laughable now but OMG, I was so mad yesterday afternoon!!!!
As for my camera, it’s ok, luckily because I really swung that bag!
Byrd Parker – If you manage to slip away, we will be at the Negro Grill by NYU @ 7pm. Come get some Negro Fixin’s 1st rounds on me!
Peace yall, I’m headed to the Brooklyn Bridge for my next adventure.
Bygbaby
June 18th, 2008 at 3:28 PM
OMG! I’m LMAO! Ah, my hometown. I’m sitting here crying laughing. You were wrong for goin’ off on little Becky cuz she like your hair, you goddamn rastafarian. LOL!
June 18th, 2008 at 5:00 PM
ok, malcolm xyz. why did you have to be so mean to the well-intentioned, full-figured woman of caucasian descent? she may have been that sincere white mother of biracial kids seeking some guidance @ styling options for her children. guess you blew that one.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:05 PM
LMAO!!! I ain’t laffin’ at you (too much) but let’s look at the facts. A dude from Detroit, goes to NYC, to have an N-bomb moment…
Of course it was just a tirade until you lost your damn mind and swung the camera bag. That promoted it…
And that poor Becky… I wonder how many other people had their day shitted on as a result of that bad karmic reaction? Cause you KNOW Karma likes to keep it going!
June 18th, 2008 at 10:13 PM
LMAO! DAMN! lol
wow…your storytelling skills are on point! lol
June 18th, 2008 at 10:24 PM
LMAOLMAOLMAO!
at work, slumps behind cube
June 18th, 2008 at 11:27 PM
Glad you are ok, BB. :)
June 19th, 2008 at 2:08 AM
Stupid people can really ruin your day!!
I trust you are enjoying a great meal with some cool bloggers and maybe after dinner drinks by now…
ENJOY!
June 19th, 2008 at 6:46 PM
LOL @ of course, like any good storyteller, I had to add new & juicier elements to the story
can.not.breathe.
I’m glad you and presumably your camera are okay :).
June 20th, 2008 at 2:27 AM
LMAO!!!!!!! Bygbaby, you are the only person I’ve seen in my life besides Slausin’ Ass Slaus from O Hell Nawl that has a temper and a “OH F**K NO!” attitude like mine….love it!
Lived in Brooklyn for 5 years…NY has a magic like no other…love/hate it.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:13 PM
LOL!! OMGoodness!!! All I could do was laugh when reading your story… I can’t believe the cab driver decided to have some balls when you were a distance away from him. You should have taken a pic of his license plate so you report his crazy ass!!! It’s good you weren’t injured.
I am happy to hear you enjoyed Cat On A Hot Tin Roof though!
June 22nd, 2008 at 1:44 AM
SDG1844 – You know, I felt kinda bad for it after the fact but she jumped out at the wrong time.
Muslimahlocs – LOL!!!
TSSE – Swinging the camera bag was the single most dumbest thing I have done all year. After I got my mind right, everyone else was safe from my I wish a muth would attitude.
Cluizel – LOL!!!
Naturally Sophia – Oh shit!!!
Carla – Thx boo!!!
AnnaC – Yes they can! Dinner was great oh & the bloggers were cool too ;)
Hijabi Apprentice – Thx boo & LOL!!!!!!
Invisible Woman – “NY has a magic like no other…love/hate it.” so true!!! I try not be that other person but sometimes……
Meikmeika – I know, I really should have gotten his info & reported him, but then they would have known who fucked up that cab, right….
“Cat On a Hot Tin Roof” was great & the cast was amazing. James Earl Jones was kick ass!
If there was a DVD, I would so buy it.
Bygbaby