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Author: Tafari, Thursday, May 7th, 2009 at 5:01 AM

This are segment from a continuing documentary show on the topic of involuntary celibacy--or incel.

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  1. Meikmeika Says:

    Ok……how in the HELL can she compare an orphan and a homeless person to a single woman on Valentine’s Day???!!!!

    I could only get through 8 minutes of the video. I wanted to count how many times she said head and whore/slut.

    Honestly, and I may be wrong for saying this…But she needs to find someone and release all that built up frustration and tension she has regarding sex…

    Phew… I’m mad at her mom requesting that she get with a homeless man..then again….I think she needs to continue to see a therapist…

  2. nyc/caribbean ragazza Says:

    Why is she on the Internets talking about this?

    Uhm being an orphan is not the same as being single on Valentine’s Day.

    She’s very bitter.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Is she on facebook?

  4. toni Says:

    Okay, I was going into this with an open mind. Especially as a single woman suffering from a lack of prospects myself, I thought I could relate. But then I pressed play…
    Poor thing, her self-esteem is all out of whack. She probably sees herself as in competition with the high-maintenance chicks. She just needs to find her tribe…and possibly a good therapist!

  5. Tafari Says:

    We all agree on many points & most certainly about the therapy piece!

    She's semi-unattractive, I'm sure someone will fuck her & not really expect some head.

    Anonymous – no idea.


  6. AnnaC Says:

    hmmm… I would love to know the context for this conversation/topic. I wonder if she would engage this kind of conversation without provocation.

    Also super interested in her difficulty making eye contact.

    I was at a full day meditation workshop yesterday — and left wondering why it was so difficult to look inward for the origin of some issues — but here you present a perfect case — she’s single and unhappy about it — and her reasons are all outside herself.

    Not sure how you got through it twice… I am going to have to give up at 9 mins…

    Getting here late to the game…

  7. Tafari Says:

    Anna – "Also super interested in her difficulty making eye contact." I was getting dizzy from the head & eye rolling. She was all over the damn place literally.

    "I am going to have to give up at 9 mins… " LOL!!!! Hell no.


  8. Tamra Says:

    Anh… You have to empathize with her. She’s exceptionally jaded, and apparently for some understandable reasons. Poor thing.

    The reason she sounds the way she does (and can’t maintain eye contact–tho’ she did ok in the first few minutes) is all in her story.

    Can you blame a young black woman for feeling that way when she can’t seem to find a “good companion” (but seems to have been with a jerk or two), isn’t the most attractive person perhaps (tho’ I think she looks just fine–beautiful in her own right), knows the history of black women being deemed unattractive and “less than,” is approaching that scary-single-age where she might feel like it’s now or never with regards to marriage and her own family and there are no prospects on the horizon, etc.?

    And then, the dating issue is one thing–but she also mentions that this is/has been the story of her life–feeling like an outcast, which I’m sure compounds the whole dating thing at least ten-fold.

    She seems to have built up quite a bit of resentment towards everybody couples, orphans, families, sluts. Hope she isn’t so jaded and cynical that she ends up getting in her own way of finding a good mate. [This from a normally cynical person. ;-]

    So, I think you might be tripping a little–cut her some slack. She needs it. ;-]

  9. Tamra Says:

    Point of clarification por moi–i.e., cynical, generally speaking. By no means w/regards to home or family…

  10. Izzi Says:

    Oh where to begin….She told us all we need to know if we really listened. Anna hit the tip of the ice berg. Her lack of eye contact lets us know how poor her self esteem is. Even if she can’t look at the camera, she’s not looking at the person who’s interviewing her. Her mother did a number on her growing up. She told us she had a terrible childhood full of bullying and it sounds like she got no support because she said even now her mother just wants her to get a man, any man will do… the message? You’re not worth more.

    She’s also terrified of people. What a horrible situation to be in. You see a picture in your head of what you want, but your fear of not being good enough, of being hurt, of what “they” might do to you, keeps you at arms length from even starting on the road to achieving it.

    I was Shocked when she said that she was in her 30’s. The way she talked about sex, her body language, everything was so much younger. There are 20 somethings who have themselves more together and sound more mature in terms of their ideals than she does.(Yes, I’m Older. Let’s leave it at that.)

    This poor soul needs therapy [and prayer] and lots of it! This is the Universe letting her know she needs time to get herself together on the inside, because she wouldn’t know a good man right now if he showed up in a tux with roses.

    I’m done now….thanks for listening ~Renee

  11. dclawchic Says:

    TAFARI – I am going to cuss you out for putting this woman on here! lol

    I mean wow – how many times did she say slut. Anybody who is in a relationship is a slut/on a train. WOW.

    She is so negative oh wow I feel sorry for her children if she ever makes it there.

  12. dclawchic Says:

    omg – what does school killings have to do to this!!! And do you hear what she's saying about the kids who were killed? omg – she is horrible!

    And she lives in DC! Omg

  13. Jackson State University Washingto, DC Area Alumni Says:

    Well I too think She has Serious Self esteem Issues. I feel Bad for her. What does a person have to go through to become that way? I think she mentioned Head and Slut so many times that I think its Wishful thinking on her part. She really wants to find a Man that will stick around and treat her like a woman so she can give him all that built up Lovin, and she want to be slutty doing it!! Then she will realize that aint nothing wrong with being slutty with your partner.. Oh what a thought!

    BTW…"We all can use a good therapist"

  14. Tafari Says:

    Renee – Feel free to rant anytime. For real. Being able to release is what blogging is all about!

    Shanda – Hey boo!!! How are you???

    Jackson State University Washington, DC Area Alumni – "I think she mentioned Head and Slut so many times that I think its Wishful thinking on her part." She needs to get the words head & slut put on a t-shirt because they seem to be her favorite vocabulary words!

    Ok, bye. I cant handle yall's comments. This such a hot damn mess & I think we are pretty much on the same page.


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