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Temporary Struggles of a Father

Author: Tafari, Sunday, June 17th, 2012 at 10:30 AM Mindspill

About eight years ago, my oldest daughter, Olivia made this sign for me and since then, I have kept the picture in my office. It serves as a reminder, motivation, & inspiration. She was daddy’s girl. I remember those days well. Life is different now but memories always remain. It’s been months since I left the planet that was destroying my life. Up until my departure, I questioned myself; is this the best thing for me to do. Should I walk away to prevent my children seeing their parents tearing each other apart. Should I walk away to save myself. The answer may have been hard but it was for sure a yes on all counts. Walking away is tough but sometime necessary. I was cautioned by several that if I walk, it may be a while, long while before I could spend time with my children. I didn’t want to believe it but the advice came to pass. It was true. Being a father is complicated and I feel that we often do not get the support that mothers get, socially, judicially etc. I NEVER thought that I would be one of those fathers that wanted to see, love, support, joke with his children but could not because of the other parent being an obstacle. These last four months feel like fourteen. I’m looking forward to the time when this just a memory and I am embracing my daughters as I have since the day they entered this world baring my likeness, my blood, my name. With all this said, trouble don't last always and here's a shout out to the men who understand the shoes that I'm walking in.

7 Responses to “Temporary Struggles of a Father”

  1. Stesha Says:

    This saddens me so. You’re always talking about your kids. The love, pride, adoration you have for them. I hoping you don’t have to walk this unfair road much longer.

    Happy Father’s Day:)

    Hugs and Mocha,

  2. mofunk Says:

    it’s nice that you care for your children. The love will always be there because you’ve shown them. Never forget that. I wish all fathers can learn from you :)

  3. Glen Palmer Says:

    Hey man…stay strong…and thank you for sharing.

  4. Anna Says:

    Wishing you a happy father’s day … and hoping that you will get to at least talk to your girls, if not today, very soon.

    Keeping my fingers crossed that you all will reach an agreement that allows you to spend the time you and the girls need together … very soon!

    hang in there

  5. Tanjanica Says:

    Take it from someone who grew up without their dad. We know when our dad loves us. Trust me, your kids love you all the same and when you do see them, you’ll feel every ounce of that love. I know it has to be hard. I’m it a parent and get crazy when I dont see my nieces and nephews. But be strong. Better days are coming.=) happy fathers day!!!

  6. Jenn Says:

    Tafari, you are a man with a HUGE heart that holds an abundance of love. You know and understand that the energy you put into the Universe is the energy that you receive. You are a DEDICATED father and have been steadfast that despite all others, you will remain a FATHER. The Universe knows your heart. The Universe is receiving your energy. And the Universe WILL make you whole again with your girls.

  7. peacefulgroove Says:

    I’ve always had a soft really soft spot in my heart and soul for the men that wanted to be there but couldn’t for varying reasons. I’ve supported many a male friend as they fought the courts system in uphill and losing battles to have equal rights as a parent but even when the judge had “three legs,” the ruling was always in the mother’s favor. This has not been just for black men but in my experiences white as well. Too many of us women allow our battle to include the babies…so not fair then we bitch later…oh well.

    I feel for you..I know that you will keep in touch with them the best way you can. Always being present in their lives. Sending cards, presents, pictures, mentioning them in your work and dedications. They will ALWAYS know that you are there. But there is nothing like playing in their hair, the smiles, tears and sound of their laughter. YOu have been there in the years when it mattered most, setting the foundation. but you KNOW THIS. you will be there again.

    You made a difficult choice, one many can’t make. keep your head up. They will be in your arms laughing and giggling again.
    Happy fathers’ day Tafari…

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