This month marks my 6 year Brotherlock anniversary. Woo Hoo!!! No, it’s really not that exciting but yet here I am.

When I got my Brotherlock six years ago, it took 16 hours & $475.00 to lock my 2.5” hair. My ass still goes numb from the though of sitting that long. Today, my locks measure about 16”.

6 years later, the dumbest question that people still ask me is “how long I’m gone let them thangs get?” Oh the ignorance from my beloved Negro folk. If your interested in more of my hair annoyances invoked by others, click here.

Thinking back, I laugh at myself because my locks looked retarded & it took a good six months to feel totally comfortable with them. Now they’re longs as hell & wind up in my mouth while I’m sleeping. I guess I should put getting a 5-6” trim higher on my priority list.

No matter what, I’m happy that I went with the Brotherlocks locking method vs. traditional locks. They fit my lifestyle much better. For your reference, I started off with traditional locks & me & that process didn’t get along at all. I tried it for like 4 months & it was just a no go.

From time to time, I wonder how many brothers out there with Brotherlocks actually exist because I rarely see any no matter where I travel. I have my suspicions why.

I guess I will celebrate my 6 year Brotherlock anniversary with a bottle of expensive shampoo & a braid out when I got my money right.

Before I wrap this post, I must take a moment to acknowledge some rampant website jankiness that has gone on for far too long.

Dear Dr. JoAnne Cornwell,

The Sisterlocks websites is still outdated & janky as hell. And you still fail to mention Brotherlocks or any other type of inclusiveness.

A good website redesign would cost anywhere from $1200 – $2000, please invest in your business boo. As you know, first impressions are everything.

I’m just saying. OK. Thanks. Bye!

Just for shits & giggles, I decided to see what a few random Google auto searches would yield by simply typing in “black people…” I guess a lot of people are Googling such topics like illustrated below. Is it BS, racism, coincidental or just crazy?

And for the record, I don’t act like an animal, smell like cocoa butter or sour milk, nor do I love watermelon. In fact, I hate watermelon but I LOVE some good fried chicken.

Back in November 09, I was finally able to see the movie “Precious” (Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire). I had not read the book prior to seeing the film, but friends who had “warned” me about what to expect.

To put things mildly, what I was told really didn’t prepare me for what I saw. I mean I left the theater without being able to close my mouth from shock.

There were several scenes that had me about to break down in major tears but somehow I was able to keep from going there. The emotional/sexual/physical abuse, overt colorism, etc were almost too much. But… the story of a young woman fighting to survive for her sake & the sake of her children helped me make it through the movie. I was hoping that this girl who had everything against her finally won.

Once I got home, I sat down to figure out how I was going to talk about the movie & was stuck. I guess I was stuck because I felt like I was missing something. What did the movie not cover from the book. And I also wanted to know more about Precious’ friends from the “alternative.” So, at this point, I logged onto Amazon & purchased “Push.”

Flash forward>>>>>>>>>>>>

I’ve read the book & it filled in all of the holes that I knew were missing and I was satisfied knowing the complicated back-stories of Precious’ friends.

One thing that stuck with me through the book was this passage from chapter 1:

“I big, I talk, I eats, I cooks, I laugh, watch TV, do what my muver say. But I can see when the picture come back I don’t exist. Don’t nobody want me. Don’t nobody need me. I know who I am. I know who they say I am-vampire sucking the system’s blood. Ugly black grease to be wipe away, punish, kilt, changed, finded a job for.”
~ Precious

Is the book hard to read? Yes! The vernacular is written phonetically & some may struggle with that as I’ve heard.

Is the book graphic? Hell yes! The book makes the movie look like a PG rated after school special.

My favorite laughable take aways from the book not fully played out in the movie? “Cunt Bucket.” & “Hasta la vista, baby.”

“She look at me like I said I wanna suck a dog’s dick or some shit. What’s with this cunt bucket? (That’s what my muver call women she don’t like, cunt buckets. I kinda get it and I kinda don’t get it, but I like the way it sounds so I say it too.)” ~ Precious

——–

“My muver say, “Eighty –six that bitch.” I says into the intercom. “Hasta la vista, baby.” That’s Spanish for good-bye but when niggers say it, it’s like, kiss my ass.” ~ Precious

Without a doubt, “Push” is a MUST read, if you’ve seen or want to see the movie “Precious! The short novel fills in the missing links & believe me there are many. This is surprising because the book is a quick 192 pages compared to the 110 minute movie.

Flash forward one mo’ gin’ (Negro Dialect)>>>>>>>>>>>>

This past Monday I attended a MLK symposium talk sponsored by the University of Michigan titled “Push, Literacy, Women, and African American Literature” given by poet & novelist Sapphire.

Sapphire coming to town was too much like right! While at the talk, I planned on getting my book autographed & asking some of the pressing questions on my mind regarding the movie & book.

After the very exciting session was said & done, I wasn’t able to get my book signed but I did get the chance to ask two of my three questions which are addressed in the audio link here.

I wish I could have asked my 3rd question regarding the content on 111 para 4. I just wanted to be sure that what I read was what I read & not what I was thinking it was.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

A few of my Tweets from the Talk:

• I’m at the Sapphire lecture & the hall is almost at standing room only. Wow! http://twitpic.com/yoj1t http://twitpic.com/yoj1h
• Sapphire is reading from “Push.” I’m loving this!
• White people are leaving the Sapphire’s talk. I guess they cannot handle her reading from “Push.” Interesting!
• Standing in line to ask Sapphire a question. http://twitpic.com/yow8y
• I actually talked with Sapphire. Posting audio later. I’m excited!!!!
• Sapphire just read this woman who tried to read her. Shit!!!
• Male rape victim now at the mic talking to Sapphire. Wow!
• The line was way too long to get my book signed by Sapphire but I was able to get a photo. Yes! http://twitpic.com/yp4kx

Did you see the movie, read the book or both? What are your thoughts?

The last week, has been heavy since the news of the 7.0 earthquake in Haiti. The images alone haunted my dreams fro days. The concern over what would happen to my brothers & sisters in the Diaspora in the wake of chaos, destruction & panic broke my heart, as I’m sure is the case with most people who watch and wait for the slightest bit of good news.

The only thing that I knew to do immediately was donate cash for this cause & that was easy. I sent a text message to 501501 with the word Yele. Later, Suite Suzy went online & made a larger donation to the same organization.

Yes, these are small donations but every dollar adds up quickly. So I encourage you to act with a cash donations ASAP.

Here are a few links:

• American Red Cross
• Americares
• CARE
• Direct Relief International
• Doctors Without Borders
• Food for Poor
• Heart to Heart International
• International Rehabilitation Forum
• International Rescue Committee
• Oxfam
• Partners in Health
• Save the Children
• UNICEF
• World Food Programme
• Yele Haiti

As I stated on Twitter earlier this week: “I hate to be the bearer of bad news but prayers don’t deliver food, aid, medicines or missing loved ones. Cash will make all of the above happen. I’m just saying.

On a similar but somewhat related note, I’d like to address Pat Robert’s most ignorant statement to date. In case, you missed it, that fool said… What, you can see for yourself in the video below followed by two on point rebuttals.

I’d like to say Pat Robertson; you have officially been checked bitch!

One a final note, I spotted this very witty note from the devil to Pat Robertson written by Lily Coyle, of Minneapolis on NPR’s website today.

“Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it – I’m just saying: Not how I roll.

You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan”

Photo Above:?
Photographer: Unknown
Decedents: 2010 Haiti earthquake victims

After reading Senator Harry Reid’s [“unintentional“] racist comment, I went into blank stare mode, then snapped out & went straight into no that mutha fucka didn’t mode. In case you’ve been under a rock, this fool said privately that he believed Barack Obama was well suited to a presidential run because he is a “light-skinned” African American “with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.”

First, of all, it’s clear that there is a fear/dislike of the dark skinned Black. Reid’s statement & many echoed around news outlets, blogs etc have led me to believe that all of these incidences of unintentional racism go to the core of beliefs held by many white Americans.

I don’t know how many times today I’ve heard that Barack Obama would have not been our president had he been darker. Sounds like some Willie Lynch shit to me. Is a light Negro less dangerous & friendlier than a dark Negro?

Truth be told, if our ancestors were not raped and… No, I won’t go there, that’s another blog post.

Second, what the fuck is a “Negro dialect?” I’ve been searching for that meaning all weekend! And how does Reid know who has the ability to turn said dialect on & off? Is the ability to turn it on & off based on skin complexion?

Dictionary.com defines dialect as – a variety of a language that is distinguished from other varieties of the same language by features of phonology, grammar, and vocabulary, and by its use by a group of speakers who are set off from others geographically or socially.

Black Americans, just like any other group on this country are now homogeneous. And the last time I polled, my Negro friends, 94.254% of them sounded like my white friends. I’m just saying.

So now people, mainly republicans are calling on Reid to step down. I’m actually torn on this; not sure if he straight up needs to go or if he needs a verbal bitch slap from the top down; starting with the Black Messiah (Barack Obama) himself. Well, I guess that verbal bitch slap from the Black Messiah won’t be coming. He just feels that Reid used “inartful language.”

Lastly, I have an issue with the Congressional Black Caucus unequivocally backing Reid. Where’s the out rage in our “Black” leaders on Capital Hill?

Now: Do I dare broach the subject of a white man claiming that he’s blacker than a Black man? A nasty looking white man, who’s a disgrace to the state of IL, politics in general & possibly his race thinks that he’s blacker than a Black men; the man running this fucking nation? I think not!

Obama may be a lot of things, but one thing is, he is undeniably is the quintessential Black man in every fashion.

This fool Rod Blababitch Blagojevich said to Esquire magazine:

“I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little Laundromat in a black community not far from where he lived. I saw it all growing up.”

Since when does shining shoes give a white man a ghetto pass? Shit, I play golf but that doesn’t make me white, or wanted on the golf course. Actually, I don’t play golf; I just want to make a point.

Honestly, I can’t even be mad at Blagojevich for his dumb ass comment. It’s clear that he’s struggling to remain relevant & in the news. What better way to attempt that by saying something so over the top. Creating this controversy gave this fool another three minutes on his fading fifteen minutes of fame. I guess his upcoming appearance on “Celebrity Apprentice” wasn’t enough.

I’ll tell you; today, I suffered the biggest racial tension headache that I’ve experienced since Don Dumb Imus said with pride; “Them some nappy headed hoes.”

I finally had my turn to see one of the most anticipated Black films this year today: “Good Hair.”

Although I was very excited to see this film, I walked in with an open mind & no real expectations. With that said, I really enjoyed the film as a good piece of edutainment. Actually at one point, it seemed to turn into a mocumentary.

Upon leaving the theater, I posted this on Facebook:

“”Good Hair” was entertaining. Was it deep? No! Will it spark good debates? Not really! Will Black men & women ever abandon their lust for white beauty euphoria? Hell no! But…. I think Rock did a good job though providing good edutainment.”

A couple things that freaked me out in the film were learning about how Indian hair is actually obtained (very disturbing), Derek J’s 4” boots, hearing stories of 2 & 3 year old children getting their hair permed.

Driving home, I figured out that I know entirely too much about Black women’s hair. I actually wish I could un-learn/undo/un-see some of my knowledge & experiences. Call it a cornrow, fried dyed & laid to the side hot mess overload of mass proportions.

If you’ve been reading me for a while or seen my posts on other blogs, you know that I’m always willing to start or jump into a fight/heated discussion on natural vs. chemically/heat processed hair. Well as of lately, I’ve thrown up my hands in this never-ending battle.

I’m married & my woman has “good” Mulatto hair (yes, I did say it! Who gone check me boo?) so I don’t have to worry about weaves, perms, hot combs, running my fingers through her hair without running across a track, snagging a hang nail or getting a ring caught. My daughters rock natural looks & gave up fighting with me on straight looks. It’s a win all the way around for me (for now anyway).

I cannot care or put energy into what other people do with their mops. I’m not fucking them or paying for anything so what difference does my opinion make.

If you want locks; great! If you want to rock a kinky look; great! If you want a perm all down your back; great! If you want to pay hundreds of dollars for hair that an Indian woman shaved off to sacrifice in the name of her religion or had stolen as she slept; great! If you’re dumb enough to think that pressed hair makes you natural: great! Gotta put your hair in the lay-a-way; great! You do you boo!

Wait, let me get back to the movie! Overall, this movie is totally worth seeing even if on a bootleg from the DVD man that visits your salon or barbershop.

So tell me, have you seen it? What are your thoughts? Talk to me!

Photo Above:
Me @ The Detroit Institute of Arts
Taken summer 1992
Hair Styled by Curtis Griffin
Photog: Unknown :(

Watching this abuse really infuriates me to no end! As you can imagine or should know, I’m not into violence against woman, but I want to slap the shit out of this baby momma.

• 1st Did the dumb hoe recording this think it was that funny?
• 2nd Looks like the momma is more interested in proving a point rather than combing the poor girls hair.
• 3rd If the child is that crazy a quick pop to the back of the head with a brush usually does the trick. There is no need to get fucking crazy like an out of control animal.
• 4th Now that this video has been viewed at least 40k times, can child protective services go check the welfare of the children in this home?
• 5th This is case book study of child abuse.
• 6th Some women really need to be chemically sterilized, fuck the genocide argument.
• 7th Shouldn’t Youtube step up & report the mother/video poster & take down the video?
• 8th I still cannot believe that the momma said “come on sit the fuck down and let me comb this hair” all while the video recorder laughs like a dumb ass.
• 9th Did the little girl really say I hate you? What the hell else is going on in this home?
• 10th I would ask where the father is but I think the answer is already clear.

I’m just saying!

By now, we all know that Henry Louis Gates Jr. was arrested for “being at home while Black” & racial profiling is back up front & on display like never. What does this mean? Where do we go from here? Really, I want to know because I’m lost.

Maybe you can find an answer on my friend Dr. Lester K Spence’s latest blog posts “What do you call a Black Man with a PhD?” parts I & II.

Flipping the script a bit & on a softer racial profiling note; two weeks ago, I was shopping on 5th Ave in NYC when I decided to stop in the Lacoste store for a shirt.

After browsing uninterrupted for a short bit, I spotted a shirt that I wanted, then looked for my size but could not find it. Moments later a clerk came & asked if she could help me. I said sure, I need a XXL, so she called to get one. Then I asked about another shirt & she called on that too.

As the shirts came, she said in an almost whispered voice, “these are not on sale.”

I paused! (BOOM)

I looked at the shirts! (BOOM BOOM)

I then looked at her & said AND!? (BOOM BITCH BOOM)

She backed off! (POOF BITCH)

I dropped the shirts then walked out pissed! (POOF, I KIRKED OUT)

I know this happens all the time but when it happened to me, I was pissed off. I guess I still am.

Maybe it was my hair that made her think I was broke, maybe it was my dashiki or perhaps it was my cheap Old Navy jeans. I’m just saying.

The bottom relatable line is that racial profiling comes in many forms regardless of education, socioeconomic status or state of dress because the wanna be red neck robo cop, cab drivers, the nervous presumptuous white woman on the elevator, or ignorant store clerks working hard for commission sales all don’t give a fuck.

I wasn’t going to watch CNN’s series “Black In America 2,” but at the last minute I decided to tune in against my better judgment.

By the time the airing was over, my blood pressure was up & I had a major headache. Why? Because I spent precious time watching some bullshit vs. completing a project.

I know CNN’s Mammy Soledad O’Brien is trying but I’m just not, nor will I ever feel her, her style, & her all of the sudden uber Blackness.

As I stated last year when “Black In America 1” aired, this program may be about SOME Black Americans but it is not intended for a Black audience nor does it dig deep enough to paint a halfway decent portrait.

Lets not get it twisted; I think we all know the collective issues that plaque our community. Sure, we may not have exact statistics but we know that the Black family is & has been in jeopardy, we know that our children are not academically on point like their counterparts, we know that AIDS/HIV/Poor sexual behavior is killing us, we know that Black men make up roughly 72% of the prison population while WE only make up 12.8% of the US population. And we know that we can catch Tiny & Toya on BET Tuesdays at 10pm. Need I go on?

Who is the audience for “Black In America?” White America! Why? Because CNN found it important to introduce the nation to Negroes since one was running to become the Supreme leader of the land; the same leader running this bitch now.

With this said, I only watched because I wanted see if CNN would do another fucked up job portraying Black life in the US. Here’s a clue; they did!

After wasting my time last night I can say that I did not see anything that represented my socioeconomic status, education, life style, family, neighborhood, associates etc. What I did see was the bottom of the bottom & the top of the top in Negroness.

As a middle class Negro, I was like is this all CNN thinks of Black people. Are they saying that Black people are either from a broken home, can’t read or write, living on aid, have ghetto names or are so rich that they do not necessarily consider themselves to be a Negro or are somehow better but yet face racial tension? Well maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but still.

I really saw a big disconnect. Yes I know that they are trying but I think the effort needs to be abandoned if they desire to show a one dimensional platform. If you want to tell the story of Black like in America, you need a 2 week long series to examine it all. Yeah, that’s a start.

So while watching, I was Tweeting live along with many other Blacks in America. Here’s my micro analysis.

- Maybe I will watch Black In America just so that I have something to bitch about. I’m in the mood to be angry + I’m sick of CNN’s Mammy.

- I may be Black man in America but I hate watermelon, peach cobbler & getting arrested.

- CNN is acting like Black in America is the biggest thing for Negroes on TV since Roots.

- Honestly, I grew up in the ghetto & I can relate to some of this shit on BIA but my kids cannot. They have it good & are far removed.

- My kids have both parents, middle class neighborhood, good school, productive activities etc. We all ain’t hood w/no daddies. #blackinamerica

- I’m watching! I feel shame!

- RT @jovanmiles: feels like shows like BIA are often decidedly one sided. @bygbaby WORD!

- Look at that monkey boy play them drums.

- White people gone think all we do is sing, dance, play drums & have HIV/AIDS.

- Great, more dancing.

- Parents need to be arrested for having illiterate children.

- That nigga ain’t gone get serious about school. Soledad please.

- What about helping kids in their own neighborhood or elsewhere in America. I’m just saying.

- RT @MizJJ: I hope they do more than shop as their way of doing service in South Africa. Seriously. #blackinamerica #CNN @bygbaby POINT!

- Damn. Latino in America is next. Soledad is working! What’s next? Jewish in America/Muslim in American/Gay in America/Broke Bitch in America?

- Maalak’s weave is on point in SA as so many suffer around her. #ilikebeingcritical

- RT @ButtaBaby: Loving this hashtag: #blacksinsoldeadsamerica (via @laidbackchick)

- RT @womanistmusings Can these kids learn that there’s intelligent Africans doing well. Why is Africa always presented as the savage continent?

- Jeremy needs to know that a bright smile will only get you so far. Just ask Chris Brown.

- Steve is representing for the light skinneded brothas. We are coming back bitches!

- RT @jovanmiles is about to get a can of pomade and slick down my waves so I too can be like Steve Perry!

- The best grilled cheese sandwiches are made with government cheese. Let’s not act siditty now! #blackinamerica

- Women will be throwing all kinds of pussy at Steve Perry tomorrow.

- @jnez that’s a tight hairline on your man too. Steve Perry #blackinamerica. Perry has an excellent barber @bygbaby Ain’t that shit tight? My hair line was never that precision.

- Soledad seems to be great at finding the most fucked up Negroes on the east coast.

- She may be accepted to 4 schools but she ain’t get no play with “Glorious” on her resume. #negronamegames

- Oh Soledad is gonna flip the script. Negroes with money & status?

- Hmmmm, Black separatists. #sidittynegroes

- @buttababy I have yet to see myself or practically anyone I know represented on this CNN Black In America 2 mess. @bygbaby Me either. Sigh! I love how they went from one end of the spectrum to the exact opposite without stopping in the middle.

- I could not fit in with any of these negroes. I’m too earthy & so not mainstream.

- Black in America showed us tonight that there are only extreme have nots & Negroes with it all wanting more. Hmmmm

So the funny thing is, well I guess not so funny because I partially expected this; none of my associates felt a connection to the program & the term janky & bullshit came up more than once.

I wonder how CNN or their PR firm will feel about me now after reading my review. They have been sweating me for weeks asking me to watch & sending me promo info. I don’t know how many times I had to tell them to back up off me.

I guess I will tune into part 2 of BIA2 tonight just to see. If I feel my pressure start to rise again, I will have to turn away.

By the way, if you are not following me on Twitter, you really should be!

I origannly posted this on the Afro Spear blog last week & decided to cross post it here becuase it’s getting such a strong reponse there. Like a real strong response. The movie has been out for week now & the controversy has been swirling. Have a read & leave your thoughts. I’m interested in your thoughts.
————————————————
Transformers: Racism That Meets The Eye
June 25, 2009 by Tafari

Yesterday, I made it a point to go see “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” in IMAX. Ever since the last Transformers theatrical release I had been giddy for more.

Hours before I headed to the movies, I started reading posts online that discussed racism in the movie but still I pressed on to Showcase Cinemas and dropped $10.50 for my ticket.

Fast forwarding 2.5 hours later. I’m walking out of the theater with my mind blown for many reasons; 1st, the movie was so action packed I thought I was going to slip into a seizure. 2nd the movie was overtly sexually, which made it seem like an R rated movie instead of PG-13 and 3rd The racism that was built into the movie billed as comedic relief.

As I drove home, I tried to reconcile the racism but I could not, so I decided to sleep on it. So this morning, when I woke up, I actually got mad about what I saw in “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” The racism that I’m talking about in case you don’t already know is dealing with the Autobot twins “Skids” and “Mudflap” or the “ Little Black Sambo[ts].”

• Both of the twins talk like they are straight from a Lil Wayne video.
• The play the dozens (crack jokes on each other and anyone else) in every scene.
• They are seemingly proud of the fact that they cannot read. “Read?! Nuh-uh…” “No, we don’t really do much readin’!”
• Skids has a GOLD front tooth. Yes, a big bucked out gold tooth
• The names “Skids” and “Mudflap” imply darkness and or nastiness.
• Do I really need to add a 6th, you should get the picture now.

(Wait, for extra measure, if you want to see another relevant countdown list, you have to read this. “7 reasons why Transformers 2 might be racist…”)

With all this now parsed out, I’m wondering why and how this stereotypical bullshit slipped past Michael Bay and Paramount Pictures. Did they care? Did they know? Did they think it was ok?

I feel bad and torn because I actually liked the movie a lot, but how could I in good conscious? Maybe it’s the kid in me remembering watching the cartoon way back in the mid 80s.

Although the racism pisses me off about this flick, I was also disturbed about the adult content and overt hypersexuality. But like I said, I liked the movie, so what does this mean about me?

I know I won’t see the movie again, nor will I purchase the DVD. I do not want my kids seeing this mess and not only that it’s so not a kids movie. Don’t let the PG-13 rating fool you!

Transformers used to be all about the kids way back when, but not so much now thanks to Michael Bay and Paramount Pictures. I’m just saying.

Side note: This post is not nearly what I wanted it to be. Not at all! My thoughts are with and on Michael Jackson. As I wrap this up, I’m chair dancing to “Off The Wall” while I try to control my urge to cry about a man that reached my soul through song, dance and beauty.