Yesterday was Cousin Dee’s 33rd b-day & we had plans to celebrate downtown Detroit with friends.
The evening, for me at least started off very rocky to the point that I was ready to go home & this was even before I hooked up with Cousin Dee.
See, I planned to go to the Centaur for drinks alone to get my head right before the gathering. So when I got to the Centaur, I saw that it was packed with baseball fans from the Detroit Tiger’s opening day game.
I mean it was so packed that I could not get in the door. And even if I could get through the door, I was just not mentally capable to handle being surrounded by that many drunk sports fans. Anything could have jumped off, especially being one of few Negroes in the spot.
So I left, met up with a friend & went to a spot far removed from downtown Detroit. Just to illustrate the madness that I encountered, here are a few of my Tweets:
“Drunk baseball fans have taken over down town Detroit. This is not cool!!!
5:51 PM Apr 10th
I’ve seem 3 white woman passed out so far on the streets as I hunt for parking. Do U need to drink that much at a baseball game to have fun?
5:57 PM Apr 10th
Downtown is looking like a mistake right now.
5:58 PM Apr 10th
Leaving downtown, drunk fans are making this a dangerous situation. #goddmuthafuckingdanm!!!
6:11 PM Apr 10th
Right now downtown Detroit smells like stale beer, Dinty Moore beef stew, with a light hint of vomit & piss.
6:13 PM Apr 10th”
Fast forward a few hours, I made my way out of Detroit to attend Alphonso Cox’s art show in Royal Oak (his work is very hot!) & back to downtown Detroit for Cousin Dee’s birthday jump off.
So its now 9pm & Cousin Dee calls me to tell me that the plans & venue changed because of a mix up with reservations. She decided to move the party to Eclipz Lounge in the Greek Town casino. At this point, I was hungry & when I got to the lounge, I called Cousin Dee to find out where she was. She was like we are eating. Eating at the restaurant that we were all supposed to meet at but she canceled.!.!. I was like WTF!!! WTMF!!!
Then she was like we are almost done & we’ll be at the lounge in 20 minutes.
So I was pissed, hungry & sitting in a very smoky lounge with bad music & service. It was a hot mutha fucking mess! And to make matters worse, that 20 minutes turned into almost an hour & some change. Here are a few Tweets that show how pissed off I was.
“Night is turning out to be a hot mess. At the Geeek Town Casino surrounded by smokers, drunks & slot machine losers. Should have went home!
9:29 PM Apr 10th
This lounge sucks, it’s not sexy & the DJ is a bitch. Gonna kick my cousins ass for having me up in this. Bygbaby is pissed the fuck off!
9:31 PM Apr 10th
I’ve been here for 10 minutes and have not been approached yet for a drink. Bad service! I’m not interested anyway. Just saying.
9:36 PM Apr 10th
I’m about to pull a hoe move & go home. I’ll have to celebrate my cousin’s b-day at another point with lunch. I wore my pink socks for nothing!
9:45 PM Apr 10th
I’m great at bitching and complaining. Especially when I wear my favorite pink socks for nothing!!!
9:48 PM Apr 10th”
So about the time that I did my last Tweet, I was getting ready to leave & that is when I ran into Cousin Em who was like why the fuck are you looking so sour. After I told her & her boo, she was like yeah, I hear you. As it turns out Cousin Dee gave her bad info too in terms of the plans also.
At this point, the baseball fans were all up in the lounge, drunk as ever, loud, dancing etc. It was just not sexy.
After I got my mind right Cousin Dee finally saunters in with her pimp switch, looking fucking great with her new bobbed sew in, tight red dress & black stilettos. I was like look at my cousin. I mean that mutha fucka was sharb (yes sharb with a long a) but I was still mad.
My attitude was bad & showing to the point that she cussed me out & told me that I was not going to fuck her b-day up, and was like get it together or leave. To all of this I said fuck you, buy me a drink bitch.
So again, after I got my mind right, I started to have a good time, no great time but this was all after I posted this to Twitter:
“Note to self: Tafari, you are too old & sophisticated for the club atmosphere. This situation is so passé.
10:53 PM Apr 10th”
Once I started to enjoy myself, the whole tone of the party changed big time. The change jumped off because Kid Rock walked up in the lounge.
I mean, people were all over his ass like white on rice. It was all very interesting to watch.
So next thing you know Kid Rock was chilling near our table while many of the other guest, including me started to take pictures with him. The Twitter piece:
“Kid Rock just walked in. Everyone is excited. Why????
11:42 PM Apr 10th
Just took picture with Kid Rock. He was on the musty side. But still nice. My man groupie moment is over.
11:52 PM Apr 10th”
Once all of the picture taking & groupie love was over, Kid Rock then asked if he could sit with us & we were like sure. As he sat with it talking shit, doing shots etc, you could see the obvious jealousy & disgust on the faces many of the lounge goers (mostly white). We all noticed that shit & we joked that they were mad because KR likes to hang with Negroes more. He chilled with us for a good hour.
It was almost surreal as the champagne & tequila flowed. The dancing, singing & back riding we did was just so crazy.
Truly it was awesome for Cousin Dee how the night was turning out. We really partied like rock stars with one. How crazy is that shit?
Fast Forwarding a bit; I danced my ass off, talked all kind of shit & thought to myself, can this night get any better or more interesting. Once I asked this question, that is when shit flipped & my buzz was over. This was the point that I noticed that my silver bracelet was missing. The same bracelet that I was afraid to tell Suite Suzy how much it costed.
When I saw that it was missing, I started to sound the alarm! I demanded that my friends help me find it. Shit I was crawling on the floor, digging between cushions & all kinda shit. Well all of my efforts were futile & the bracelet could not be found. At this point, I Tweeted:
“Just fell victim to the recession & thievery. My Sterling silver bracelet is missing. I can literally cry now. This night is not worth it!
about 23 hours ago
It’s interesting watching the party go on around me as I’m wondering who has my fucking bracelet. #stayathomenexttimebitch
about 23 hours ago
Yeah I know the party is jumping & my socks are pink but I want my damn bracelet back!!!! #ilovepinksocks
about 23 hours ago from
So fucking hurt now. I may cry all the way home!
about 23 hours ago
I somehow feel like I’ve been exploited. Don’t ask me to explain why. I could not even break it down. At least my drinks were free tonight.
about 23 hours ago”
My night ended on such a down note! Before I left the casino, I did file a report incase someone was actually honest enough to turn my beloved bracelet in.
After I filed the report I bounced & headed home. I called my boo to tell her what jumped off & she comforted me during my drive & by the time I got home, she had made me a little something to eat seeing that I was still really hungry.
As I was eating, I thought to myself about how spoiled I really am. I bitch a lot, always want my way & stop at nothing until I win. Truly a big baby. The I refected on the fact that I really am lucky to have all that I have & the bracelet was small potatoes. My family is healthy, we have a home, we have an income etc.
With that said, I crawled into bed & my boo held me until I fell asleep.
Fast forward one more gin’. Its now 10am Saturday & I get a call from the Greek Town. It was Agelita calling to tell me that my bracelet was turned in & that I can pick it up any time. I screamed thank you in her ear & told her that I loved her. After I got off the phone, I called Cousin Dee to share the news & she of course was happy & offered to pick it up for me.
I was so fucking happy! This put the cherry back on top of my Friday night. I later went to pick it up from her & we sat around laughing about everything that went wrong with the night & the many unexpected surprises that occurred.