Last Saturday afternoon, my mother called me & when I picked up the phone she was all out of breath asking if I was OK. I mean she was almost hysterical. After I told her I was fine, I asked her to calm down & tell me what was up with her.

She took a deep breath & told me that my brother has just called her & told her that I was dead. So I guess she called me immediately afterword.

Once I got over the shock of the comment, I was like WTF, why would he say that. She was like he just got out of the psych hospital (he’s in & out all the time). I was like, you need to send his ass back!!!

After we got off the phone, I felt disturbed by what my brother told momma. Then I started to think, maybe he had a vision because he “sees” shit all the time. I thought that maybe I should stay home & not proceed with my daily plans.

Eventually, I kinda got over & went out somewhat feeling that death was actively trying to get me.

I have not called my brother since because I do not feel like dealing with his psychosis. Baby told me that he has been having issues all week & my mother has been dealing with it. I just cannot go there & do have the mental power to handle it.

Schizophrenia is no joke & can really cause a lot of family stress. I hate when my brother goes through his mental battle when he strays from his meds.

I am not mad at him (this time), I’m just…
———————————————————–
On another note: My uncle who’s in prison wrote me a letter 2 months ago & I have still not responded to it. While writing this, I looked at his picture, which is on my desk & I’m feeling guilty. I think next week, when I have a little more time on my hands, I will drop him a few lines. 

Writing prison notes is an energy drainer for me because I feel like I cannot say too about what is going right in my life because he’s behind bars. Hmmmm…..
———————————————————–
On a final family note: I know I mentioned his birth already but I am still excited about the news. Last Thursday, my sister Baby gave birth to what I hope is her last child. If you have been following my chronicles, you know that she was expecting a boy. Well he was born @ 412am 7lbs 12.8oz 19″ & his name is Asar Nasir.

We are taking a trip to meet my nephew this coming Saturday & the girls are excited to see him.

Every time I’ve talked to Baby since she has been home, she sounds like she is about to pass out from exhaustion. I think my older nephew Bay Bay is giving her a run for her money.

School Sucks – My blogging is sucking as of late because of time constraints, I am left to do updates, so bare with me for a few weeks as I struggle in this damn statistics class, which I am failing as we speak.

I took the first test this past Monday & got a 50% on that bitch. I am not giving up though! If I have to take it again, at least I will have a leg up. Stay tuned!!!

My New Whip – Last week before the trip to NYC, I picked up my new car & got rid of my gas guzzling SUV. I did not get the Prius like I wanted because of the jacked trade-in drama (poor me)! I winded up getting the Saturn Aura XE, which I liked from a far, I just wanted a hybrid. . I got a great deal on the car, 2000 cash incentive, GM discount & the have me 10k for my car (Toyota tried to give me 8k).

After riding high for the last 6 years, I’m getting used to riding lower but I keep bumping my head when I get in & out. The ride is very nice & super quite & ooooooooooooo, that new car smell is sexy enough to make me juice my draws.

Like most guys, I don’t like to read instruction manuals, which means that I am still figuring out shit. Today I saw that I had lumbar support & automatic seats, this discovery made me smile.

One thing that I’m really loving on the car is the XM radio that it came with. I discovered a really nice jazz station “Watercolors” & “The Move”, which is a nice house station. My kids are digging the Disney station but it gives me a headache.

I Love Getting Packages – Who says money cannot buy you friends? For 460 bucks, my new Nikkon 50mm f/1.2 lens will be my friend for life! He arrived straight from Japan just at just the right moment yesterday & we have been having some fun. This new friend will take some getting used to because he is a manual old school lens.

I meet this young guy in NYC last week and he had one on his camera & I asked to see it & he was like sure it I let him play with my 85mm f/1.8. We swapped for about 30 minutes & I knew I had to have a 50mm f/1.2 for myself. This lens is starting to get hard to find in the US especially new. Stayed tuned for some kick ass night shots taken with this bad boy.

Politricks – Yesterday, when I was walking out of my office, my cell rung & it was from some weird number but I still answered. It was a woman from the Obama campaign calling to tell me that they just opened up a campaign office in my area & she wanted to know if I would be interested in volunteering. Like a fool, I said yes, with excitement, like it was him asking me himself.

I go for the orientation next week, & I told her up front that I am not doing the door-to-door thing. Since I am all ready pimped out for time, I will be limiting myself to helping out to 2-3 times per month. Yes, I am caught up in an Obamafied state, but a brother has to watch his time budget.

Speaking of Obama, I ordered some campaign buttons 2 weeks ago & my shit better show up this week or I’m jumping the fuck off!

So today Ralph Nader put his foot in his “white speaking” mouth & said “… I haven’t heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What’s keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn’t want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We’ll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards…”

Honestly speaking, I feel what Nader is saying, he just said it sooooo very wrong. And from my recollection, he is right, I have not heard anything comprehensive from Obama on these issues, but I also have not heard them from Nader or McCain. Who ever becomes president will have to address issues in the Black community but he will also need to address the nation as a whole. I just know that we will put a lot of stock into Obama to help solve our collective needs but we need to also look at the big picture.

Moving on, last week, while at dinner with blogging buddies, I asked them if they thought Michelle Obama would rock some corn-rows up in the White House if Barack got elected. We all laughed but all said that she would. What do you think?

The question that is circling my mind this week is, if Barack was elected, would he apologize for slavery if the issue came back up from Civil Rights groups or if it was reintroduced in Congress. Actually, if I attend another town hall meeting & have the chance to ask the question, I will ask him myself. It’s not a deal breaker for me but I want to know what he thinks. I would also ask the same question to Turkey Neck McCain. Thoughts???

Other Bullshit News – Is the Supreme Court out of their fucking minds??? 1st, I think capital punishment needs to be in all states because some mutha fuckers just need to be killed for some of the shit that they do; point blank!!! Today, them Supreme Court fools stated that it is unconstitutional to issue the death penalty to anyone convicted of raping a child, assuming that the child is not merked.

What about the child being damaged for life physically & mentally???

If anything tried to lay a hand on one of my daughters, it will be a scene out of John Grisham’s novel “A Time to Kill” jumping off up in this bitch!

Will someone shut Don Imus the fuck up! I listened to his comment a few times over the last few days & his excuse is just not gelling. I think he needs to get dropped off on 29th & Broadway so the “Niggas” that were about to beat my ass have a little talk with him.

Piggybacking off my Fathers Day post, I wanted to help spread this story from the news: “Obama tells black fathers to engage their children”.

I think he needs to set up a council that I can join to help negligent, trifling & otherwise crappy fathers become men, parents & examples of greatness.

I hope Barack’s status in the world can engage loser fathers & make them want to be & act better. At this point, many great Black leaders have called fathers out but many seem not to get it. I guess if Barack cannot do, who the fuck can. I am not saying that Barack is the answer to all
the world’s problems but……
———————————————————–
CHICAGO — Barack Obama celebrated Father’s Day by calling on black fathers, who he said are “missing from too many lives and too many homes,” to become active in raising their children.

“They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it,” the Democratic presidential candidate said Sunday at a largely black church in his hometown.

Reminding the congregation of his firsthand experience growing up without a father, Obama said he was lucky to have loving grandparents who helped his mother. He got support, second chances and scholarships that helped him get an education. Obama’s father left when he was 2.

“A lot of children don’t get those chances. There is no margin for error in their lives,” said Obama, an Illinois senator.

“I resolved many years ago that it was my obligation to break the cycle — that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father to my girls,” added Obama, whose daughters, Sasha and Malia, and his wife, Michelle, watched from the audience.

…”Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father,” he said. “It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”… (Read More Here)

What the hell kind of weed was OJ smoking when he admitted to killing his wife & her boo? That must have some good shit for him to slip up & expose the truth that we all know but love to deny.

Sad thing is that he cannot be retried, he is not the 1st person to get away with murder (well, maybe the 1st Black man to get away with murdering a white woman) & will not be the last. I wonder how his kids feel about him????

What the fuck took so long to get R. Kelly’s trial going??? In the last six years, that nigga released like 8 albums, made me “step in the name of love” countless times, he did 35 collabos & paid for 4 abortions. Honestly, why is this going to trial??? I saw the video when it was circulating & if that was not R. Kelly, maybe he was kidnapped & got into some “face off” type shit.

The (obviously willing) victim is now twenty-damn-three & is denying that it is her in the video. Can you say, the dick brainwashed her (she needs to talk to Alexyss) & she mos def got paid off.

The Detroit City Council is a step closer in getting Kwame’s delusional ass out of office. All I wanna know is what can I do to help!

In other news:

1st) Who made that dress?
2nd) Likeded is not a word!
3rd) Why does she have that big ass tattoo on her chest & that tongue ring?
4th) Why is this in the news, & who really cares?
5th) Last but not least, where is her momma. I would have said where are the parents but it is clear that there is no father around.
6th) Can’t wait to see this featured on the Hot Ghetto Mess website.

In personal news:
- I got a Myspace message from my sister Baby today that stated “just left the doctors and my due date is 11-11-08 yes i’m having a baby”. OK, WTF!!!

1st) Why would you Myspace message that kind of news. This is worse that a text message. So impersonal!!! And why didn’t you just tell me this bittersweet news when you saw me Saturday?
2nd) Last week you called me because you were out of money & food until your current boo got paid & begged me to order you a pizza so yall grown asses could have something to eat. How are you going to afford another mouth to feed. Oh wait, I know food stamps. Duh!!!!
3rd) You don’t have a job now, have not had one for months, is this a sign of a life line system lifestyle?
4th) Why is my mom so excited about this new baby? Yes I know it is another grandchild who will be precious, but all I see is another bastard child who will be sharp as hell & living in the lap of ghetto luxury.
5th) My sister changes her boo more than she changes her panties. I started to ask whose it was but that just would have been too fucked up for me to even ask.
6th) Why do I have to have that one sibling that people talk about at the family reunion?

I love my Baby, but she makes the worst life decisions ever. I wanted to call her so bad tonight but all I would have to say would have been counter productive & a waste of breath. What’s done is done.

In political news:
- Will someone fucking take over Myanmar with an international coup. I really do not understand why the government over there is denying aid. I saw videos of all of the squalor & dead bodies floating around to this day. I guess if I was a Katrina victim, I would stop complaining right about now, or at least until the FEMA checks ran out.

- Hillary, you mos def can’t count & we all know you can’t budget. Drop the fuck out & have a BBQ with your hard working white supporters. How dare you insinuate that white Americans are the only ones that are middle class, hard workers etc. This is the exact reason your campaign is going down faster than Monica Lewinsky or Karrine Steffans in a room full of hot dick & nuts.

- George Bush, fuck pictures of your daughter’s wedding cuz I don’t give a fuck!!! I wanna see my damn stimulus package check. I need some damn gas money bitch.

Dear Blog,

I am back up in this bitch & I hope that I will not bore you with a little Bygbaby potpourri.  I told you that a lot has been going on so I will try to be as brief as possible

“Although inspired in part by a true incident, the following story is fictional but not really and does not depict any actual person or event but it really does but I can’t say.”

School & Making it Through
My last math test was a b-eye-itch!  I really did not study & felt half way confident that I would do ok to get a C because I was at the point of not giving a fuck, I just want this shit ova!  So this Monday’s class was results & I had my fingers crossed to get a C.  The instructors lands the graded test in front of me & I had a big fat 93%!!!  I was like, is this my shit???  I was so geeked but even more excited that I have one test left.  At this point, I am looking at getting a B out of the class.  It will be great if I can pull off a B+ because my GPA will stay just above a 3.0, which means that I get my transfer scholarship when I land at the EMU business school in the fall.

Yes, the last piece of my last sentence is right.  I am finally fucking done with community college after a very sporadic 7 years of classes here & there.

I found out Monday that I was eligible to graduate this May from WCC.  1st thing Monday am, I met with the assistant dean at the b-school of EMU who looked at my transcript & was like what the are you waiting for, you need to be here now!  We combed through my current credits & the requirements of the BA program & all I need is 15 classes to have a BA with a specialization in HR.  15 classes ain’t shit now, I am looking forward to knocking them out.  I am ultra excited & cannot wait to be on my way to a 4 year degree.

My family & were excited to hear my little news & that made me feel good.  Thx to all of my blogging friends ho have lifted me up during the last 2 years especially with the math drama!!!

So I will be going to the little graduation ceremony next month & mostly to show my girls that this shit matters.  Some time next month I also plan to have a little party to celebrate with my friends who tease me about being the oldest nigga in my classes.

To celebrate myself (and I do that so well), I am getting a Vaja messenger bag in dk brown with red trim.  I need a bag upgrade desperately because my Coach messenger bag looks like it was taken from an organized crack head!!!

Photos & Soul for Sale
Sunday before last, I uploaded 13 photos to iStockphoto & Wednesday before last 9 were approved & 4 were rejected.  I was pretty excited about that.  By Thursday, I was a whole ¢26 richer!!!  One of my photos sold & I was so geeked.

I’m using iStockphoto as a litmus  test to see if some of my work as commercial viability in the stock industry.  If things go pretty good, then I will step my game up & try to join a stock house.

Time & sales will tell, so stay tuned.

Gym Hot Mess of the Week
If you go to the gym, you are familiar with a lot of the hot mess that walks up in there.  I usually do a gym hot mess of the week based on some of the tacky shit that people wear, do & say.  Before yesterday, the Overbuff Muscled Headed Negro (I have names for them all) was my gym hot mess of the week.  He’s new & when I first saw him, I was like WTF is up with those huge blue jean MC Hammer pants.  The as I got closer to him, I was like what is that shit hanging off your face.  Well upon closer inspection, I saw that it was a single lock, at least 8 ft long that he had wrapped around his neck like some type of necklace.

Well, yesterday, the Overbuff Muscled Headed Negro was no longer the gym hot mess of the week.  The Long Faced Red Locked Fat Boy was the official gym hot mess of the week.  Yes, I am the Long Faced Red Locked Fat Boy & it is impossible for me to be beat for this weeks title!  Let me tell you why.

Yesterday morning before work, I packed my gym bag & cross checked to be sure I have everything; tight work out shorts, over shorts, t-shirt, socks, gym shoes, hair tie, pad lock, water bottle, & towel.  Once I verified everything, I hit the door.  So now it’s 645, I’m at the gym getting ready to change.  So I go through the bag & was like shit, where is my t-shirt, where are my socks????  Did that shit leap out of my bag this am???

So I was like damn, I’m happy that I wore a wife beater today, because usually when it warms up outside, I don’t wear undershirts.  Well at least my shirt problem was solved or so I thought.  Once I took off me shirt, I realized that I had on a beat up wife beater with a hole all up in the front & it was “a little” ill fitted & basically tight as hell.  I was like I am going to look nasty as hell with this janky shit on.

Ok so now I take my shoes off & saw that I had on a pair of wildly colored argyle socks that were slight moist (yuk).  So who was I going to walk out of the locker room looking like a crack head by the socks & t-shirt with partially wet socks.  Damn my feet felt nasty.

After an abbreviate workout, I left looking a hotter mess than I did when I hit the gym floor.  I need to double & triple check my bag before leaving the house now, because I do not want to be the winner of my own mind game.

I told Cousin Dee about this & we both died laughing!!! I think sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves to stay sane.

Price of Rice
Yesterday while working out at the gym as the hot mess of the week, I was watching CNN & heard several stories about rice shortages & rice rationing from US retailers.  That shit made me have a mini panic.  I called Suite Suzy & told her to stock us up on rice ASAP.  She was like, do you know how much rice I buy.  I was like no.  She was like 25lbs at a time.  I was like ok, get 50bls.  She was like, that is enough for 6 months, then I was like fuck it, get 75lbs.  She was like, are you crazy!  I was like, I do not want to be caught out there with out being able to have my Basmati rice or paying high ass prices.  She talked me down a bit but came home with 50lbs worth.

My next 8 food recipes will all involve Basmati rice, so stay tuned!!! LOL.

I’d Rather Homeless
Sunday, my sister Baby called me & told me that she was about to be evicted from her apartment if she did not come up with 390 bucks before her eviction hearing, which was today.  So I was like, sorry boo, can’t help! But lets talk about what options you do have, which were not many.

Bottom line is that she & her boyfriend, I mean current jump off are totally irresponsible.  I cannot offer finances to support losers who have chronic cash issues.  I felt bad because I do not want my nephew Bay Bay caught up in her ghetto drama but I cannot save someone who does not want to save their self.

Yesterday, I call Baby up to see how she’s doing & she was like, I’m fine, just busy packing.  I was like, so nothing panned out & she was like no.  How can two adults not come up with 390 bucks (Only an elitist would ask that type of question!!!)???

I was like, you know my door is always open to you & Bay Bay (notice, I did not say you boo!!!) without a doubt & she was like that’s OK, we will be fine.  So I was like, so where are you going to go & she was like, I don’t know.  I was like, Baby, come stay with me until you get your shit together.  She was like no & I was like, why not, then she was like, I cannot live with you, I was like what???  You cannot live with me???  She was like no.  I was like what, are you telling me that you would rather be homeless with your child then live with me.  She was like yes.  I was fucked up.

At this point, I had nothing else to say other tan good luck & talk to you later.

So now, I’m like, I must be fucked up, a horrible person, a bitch, the nigga no one wants to be around right,,,

Fast forward a few hours, I’m hurt by what Baby said to me & I had to consult with my inner circle.  So I called my mom, Suite Suzy, Cousin Dee & BFB (individually), & told them what jumped off.  They all were like fuck her, yes even mamma.  They all said you were ok when she wanted money!!!!

Fast forward a few hours more, & I get a call from Baby.  She called to ask me how much it was to go to NYC.  I broke down airfare & hotel & she was like ohhhh.  I was like, why are you moving there now?  She was like no, I’m planning for my B-day.  I was like, oh, OK.  & in my mind, I was like should you not be concentrating on getting a place to live???

After that, I told her she hurt my feeling & from there a fight ensured.  Bottom line is, she really is a loser.  I love her but she has some fucked up priorities & my hands are dusted & I am with a free conscious.  Just because I look like I have it going on, does not mean that I can just break people off change.  And even if I did, have all kinds of money, I still would not be all like here you go boo.

I have no idea hat my sister’s lifestyle means for Bay Bay…

Anyway, I am using my 400 bucks for my custom Vaja bag, not another niggas rent! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.  Sorry Baby.

Car Troubles
I was so excited about my Prius but it is now dead & that’s because I’m not getting that bitch.  When the car came in, the dealership tried to fuck me over on my trade in & being fucked over is not something that I’m into.

So for now, I am saying fuck the environment & will continue to burn a whole in the ozone layer & my pocket with this damn SUV V6 engine.

Good thing I got them 4 damn tires.

My post title is inspired partly by the shadows & light of this photo, partly by lies that are affecting the city that I love to hate but love anyway & partly by Maysa Leak’s song “Shadows & the Light” from her “All My Life” album 2000.

“I’m conscious of the brightness
I’m conscious of the dark

The heartbeat and the rhythm
That echoes in my shell

I recognize the gift of life
The presence of your love

I’m conscious of my spirit
The shadows and the light”

2000 – Maysa Leak – “Shadows & the Light”

I hate taking self-portraits because it takes so much energy. Set up for the shot, pose for the shot, check the shot, adjust camera settings & repeat 35 times. There has to be a better way.

I am envious of my photographer friends that seem to have perfected a technique. As for me, I think I will never get it the way I would like to.

———————————————————–
Anyway, now to the jump off:

So I know you know that I am happy than mutha that Kwame Killpimpin got his big ass brought up on charges today. I feel almost shamed to say that the news has had me on cloud nine most of the day & the juicy news coverage almost made me bust one up in my drawz.

At 10:59, I was tuned into channel 7’s website so that I could watch the press conference live with a co-worker.

Flashback::::: Yesterday, Suit Suzy & her friend Ramona Jones though that Kwame & his boo would get off because prosecutor Kym Worthy did not have the balls to make things happen. I felt differently & believed that the juicy brown law diva would pop off them charges.

Flash Forward::::: So today when Kym Worth walked out to make her announcement, I noticed that her perm was freshly touched up, the hazel contacts were fully in check & her French manicure was highly polished. In the back of my mind, I was like, damn, she wanted to be the number one stunna up in that bitch. And I guess so since the whole world is literally watching this shit go down in a chocolate city.

So before she began to speak, she popped the top of her ice mountain spring water, took a big ass swig then started with a hot & heavy scolding of Kwame & his former light skinneded boo. Her words were not harsh but the truth & we all know that the truth hurts.

“’Even children understand that lying is wrong. If a witness lies, innocent people
can go to jail or prison, people can literally get away with murder, civil litigants
who deserve money may not get it or may get money they don’t deserve. And
lying cannot be tolerated even if a judge or jury sees through it….

‘…Just when did honesty, integrity, truth and honor become traits to be mocked or
downplayed or ignored or laughed at or excuses made for them? When did
telling the truth become a supporting player to everything else?…’”

Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy 2008

So now the shit has hit the fan & Kwame came out & again announced that he is not laving office unless he is basically found guilty. We have known for weeks that he is a fool who is in need of an emergent psych exam. He seems to be truly on another parallel from the rest of us.

The other thing that is so funny but not really is how all of the pulpit pimps religious leaders are saying Kwame needs to stay in office because the city needs him & we ought not judge. My questions is who they fuck are they really? From my past experience, the devil lives up in the church & more often that not is the pastor & or his/her staff. Why are Coloreds so blinded by religion & again I ask; what happened to separation of church & state???

OK now that you know how I really feel let me shift gears a bit. I really wonder what is going through Christine Beatty’s head? She lost her husband because of the affair years ago, she lost her job recently, people hate & are more mad at her than Kwame & she may lose that nice big house if she don’t get a job soon.

It is hard to feel sorry for her because she did violate her marriage all for Kwame’s hot dick & nuts. Was she that pressed to get up on a true Detroit Playa? Her world is coming down around her & it shows all on her yellow ass face.

If I had one wish for this trial, it would be that Christine says fuck it, cops a deal & rats out her former boo to save damn herself. That would truly shake some shit up + he ain’t her man anymore so what does she have to lose other than a few years on the streets.. They both claim to be so religious; this would be the perfect time for one of them to submit to their claims of righteousness.

OK, so I was able to pull off a food shot & recipe!  Suite Suzy & the girls made it home in time for her to make the cornbread dressing & banana pudding so dinner is on & poppin’

Anyway, nothing says lovin’ better than a plate of fresh collard greens, a true negro favorite.

Ingredients:
- Fresh collard greens
- Smoked turkey wing
- Red pepper flakes
- Black pepper
- Salt
- Balsamic vinegar

Procedure:
- Soak the greens in cold water for an hour so that any dirt can sift down to the bottom of your sink.  I let mine soak for an hour then drain water & do a final rinse.
- Boil your turkey wing in a large pot with a few splashes of balsamic vinegar & salt for at least 30 minutes to get all the flavor out of the wing.
- Once your water is fully seasoned & the greens are cleaned, take your greens & pull the stem from the middle to be discarded.
- Take a sizable amount of your stemless greens & roll them up in a tight bunch then cut them into small rows width wise.
- After all of your greens are cut up, toss them into your seasoned & boiling water leaving the smoked turkey wing in.
- Add your red pepper flakes, black pepper & a little saffron (as you can see, I like my greens a little spicy).
- The greens should boil for at least 1½ to 2 hours slowly.
- Serve hot & with anything from broiled salmon to some hot & nasty chitlin’s.

I would love to show the finished product but cooked greens are not photogenic no matter who cooks them IMO.  Wait, since Darius T. Williams somewhat called me out, here is a dinner plate to go. Sorry we were put of foil & Kmart bags.

My post title is inspired partly by the composition of this photo & partly by Anita Baker’s song “Love You to the Letter” from her “Compositions” album 1990.

“Life is always changing
Constant rearranging
But nothing changes with you
You never do

I go to different places
See a million faces, but
None as fine as you

Baby I have the honor
To love someone kind and true
I thank my lucky stars
For bringing me here to you

Like water flows down from a hill
And yellow grows on daffodils
I’m gonna learn to love you better
To the letter, baby

Like morning dew on southern pines
And honey that bees leave behind
I’m gonna love you sweet to the letter
You’ll find no better”

Because of Anita Baker, I love daffodils! When I see them, I remember riding the bus on Sunday mornings to work when I was a teenager listening to her “Compositions” album.

Actually the entire album takes me back to a very happy year in my life & strongly brings out memories of driving around in my mom’s Renault Medallion with my brother & sister. My momma would blast the music & we all sang along. We all knew we could not sing but it was so fun. The overall car favorite to sing was “Fairy Tales“

Flashback: Last Saturday Suite Suzy checked our home voicemail & found 3 missed messages from her Dr’s office who was calling to schedule her for another mammogram because the one she had earlier in the week had an abnormal finding. After she got the message, she called me to share & I was totally fucked up as she was also. I got scared & depressed but Suite Suzy remained calm but concerned.

Over the weekend we talked about what a positive breast cancer screening would mean, how we would survive amongst many other things. The conversations were scenario based but yet still very frightening just to have to even think about it. Chemo, mastectomy, radiation, taking care of the kids, providing strong support to each other etc.

Moving Forward: 1st thing Monday, Suite Suzy called her Dr’s office to get in for another mammogram. She got in touch with a scheduler who could only fit her in on March 21, 2008 & she accepted the appointment. After making that appointment that was a month away, she called me to give me an update. Upon hearing the scheduled date, I flipped the fuck out! If they saw a spot on the films, why in the fuck are they waiting a month to get you in to test further???!!!

Immediately, I started thinking about the report that was issued last year about Black women receiving poor breast care vs their white counterpart. I was not about to let my boo slip between the cracks & become some fucked up statistic; no mutha fucka, not my boo.

Taking Action: So after I got my mind right & focused my energy toward getting an appointment sooner, I called a connection & pulled a few strings to get Suite Suzy seen sooner. 1 day later (this past Wednesday) after some phone tag & 3 emails, my boo was finally scheduled to go for more testing yesterday. This was great news & a partial relief for both of us.

So yesterday Suite Suzy goes to her appointment & 5 breast scans later a radiology tech came to her & informed her that her test were negative. The spot that kept showing up was a mole. She was like what??? Then she though oh yeah I do have a small mole.

Feeling Free: So it’s now 330 Thursday afternoon & Suite Suzy calls me to tell me the news & I almost peed on myself, I was so fucking relieved!!! We both sighed loudly as if a humongous weight was lifted off of out chest. After all was aid & done, I got mad! If I did not have a hook up, we would have had to wait in agony to get this news. On the flip side, what if it was a cancer; it would have had a whole month to grow WTF!!!

Reflection: Not everyone has a connection to key people in key areas like I do & it is a damn shame that if something is potentially life critical, you have to wait for weeks to get diagnostic test. The funny thing is that we were talking last week & I brought up the fact that she should look into changing her health plan so that she can go to the health system that the girls & I get care from. I like my job & think the employer is great but my boo has had way to many things go wrong when receiving some healthcare services.

The Jump Off: Since all the drama is over & her breast is now longer sore from being smashed numerous times, we celebrated by having a desert that I picked up on the way home from class last night.

Life is a damn trip, so I am happy that I have someone to navigate the intricacies with a woman who can maintain her cool when I lose it & let my emotions take over.

Suite Suzy, if you are reading this, don’t dog me out for my many typos & grammatical errors! I love you & happy that things panned out for us, cause you know how much I love that tit! In sickness & in health, to death do us get up out this bitch!

Last night, my boo & I headed out childless for a night @ the movies & whatever else. The choice of what to see was quite easy for me to make since there are not many good movies out, so the plan was set to see “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins”.

I saw the previews of the move about 2 weeks or so ago & thought it would be pretty funny but ghetto or a typical Black comedy film. Well, put it this way; I did not find “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins” to be a typical Negro film that I thought it would be. Are producers finally starting to get it???

The film was straight up quality, funny & the theme was not Negro specific. The only thing negative that I can say about the film & Suite Suzy agreed is that Bianca’s (Joy Bryant) lipstick was horrible. I’m sorry to be so picky but those big brick red lips were just not working. Oh wait; there was Mo’Nique in that tight leopard pussy outfit. Other than that, “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins” is a winner in my book, especially with Darth Vader & Shug Avery as starting cast members!

Did you see it? What are your thoughts?
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Advertised Synopsis:

Talk-show sensation RJ Stevens left behind his modest Southern upbringing and family name to transform into a self-help guru dispensing his “Team of Me” philosophy to millions of adoring fans. With a reality-TV-star fiancé and money to burn, there’s no piece of the Hollywood dream RJ hasn’t achieved. After his parents request that he come home for their 50th wedding anniversary, the TV host packs up his 10-year-old son and diva bride-to-be and heads back to Georgia. It’s a chance to prove to his family that he’s no longer the awkward kid they relentlessly picked on. At least, that’s the plan. But when his crazy, lovable family calls him on his big-city attitude and challenges him at every turn, RJ is forced to take a hard look at the man he’s become. He may be a superstar in L.A., but he’s just one of the guys in Dry Springs.

Check out the trailer
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Side Notes:

- We also saw “Jumper” last night & it was not so good!!! Actually it was quite boring! The only thing really cool about it was that a lot of it was filmed in Ann Arbor & there were familiar places & Suite Suzy’s former high school. Save your money & time by not seeing this flick!!! Sam J, you really let me down but the white hair was a good.

- Why do so many damned Negroes have the last name Jenkins & why do so many of us pronounce it “Jankins”? Was the plantation that damn big??????

- Next up on my movie roster: “Meet the Browns” (Suite Suzy got a free ticket when she purchased “Why Did I Get Married” last week), “The Spiderwick Chronicles”, “Vantage Point”, & “10,000 B.C.”

My mother always told me to never get my milk where I make my bread & I thought that was a pretty common sense thing to live by.

Well, I guess Detroit’s ghetto fly mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, was never taught that lesson by his mother, Congresswoman Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick. I am sure you know that Kwame is fucking his chief of staff Christine Beatty & has been for years. The two recently perjured themselves (lied about having a sexual relationship) on the witness stand during a trial where two former Detroit popo’s sued for a wrongful discharge & won 9 million mutha fuckin’ dolla’s.

Why does the city of Detroit have to pay for Kwame’s pussy getting escapades???

He really needs to step down & save his self from some of the national coverage that is blasting him for being a philandering lying as nigga! I guess, what is also tripping me out is that he has a house filled with young sons & a half way decent looking wife. What message is he sending those little boys & does his wife make him wear a condom? How embarrassing!!!

I am not up for breaking down all of the bitter details that are being pumped out by the media but I will admit that I’m enjoying every minute of it. I cannot stand Kwame & think he is the worst thing to hit Detroit since crack rocks.

He is always caught up in some shit and has been since his 1st term in office (now on his 2nd). I was shocked to fucking death when Detroiters put his ass back in office. Who in their right mind will elect a mayor with thug passion in his heart to represent them???

Anyway, I snapped this photo of Kwame a few weeks go, as he addressed international press at the NAIAS. As you can see, he is reaching for that blackberry because his jump off is trying to hook up at the Residence Inn!!!

The post title is inspired by Nina Simone’s rendition of Duke Ellington’s jazz standard “Mood Indigo” from her “Little Girl Blue” album (1958).

“You ain’t been blue; no, no, no.
You ain’t been blue,
Till you’ve had that mood indigo.
That feelin’ goes stealin’ down to my shoes
While I sit and sigh, “Go ‘long blues”.

Always get that mood indigo,
Since my baby said goodbye.
In the evenin’ when lights are low,
I’m so lonesome I could cry.

‘Cause there’s nobody who cares about me,
I’m just a soul who’s bluer than blue can be.
When I get that mood indigo,
I could lay me down and die.”

Today is my father’s birthday & we will celebrate tonight even in his death with cake, ice cream & a balloon release.

As the years go by, this date is easier for me to deal with, so I guess time has made me stronger. Last night Sade reminded me that today was dads birthday like 4 times & then again before she went upstairs to go to bed. I told Suite Suzy about Sade’s reminders & she got several of them herself; we both laughed.

My father meant everything to me & still does as I reflect back on times we shared, conversations we had etc. I think one of my most memorable conversations with him was when I was about 19 when I called him all freaked out because this girl I was dating peed on me while we were fucking.

All he could do was laugh & say “you must have really whooped that thang”; me on the other end was like how can you laugh, I got peed on!!!

Anyway, my dad died suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 51, which was caused by severe coronary artery disease. My man tits & my father’s death are a few reasons why I am taking my exercise regimen & diet more serious because if I can help it, I would like to be around to see my family develop. I want to continue to be a rock for my daughters when they all grown like my father was a rock for me as I stumbled into adulthood, fatherhood & marriage.

Although my father lived hundreds of miles away & now an eternity away, he resides in my heart, his blood flows through my veins & his memory encourages me to be a best man I can be as he helped lay a foundation that cannot be destroyed.

Dad, If you are reading I am only considering bitch slapping you when we meet at the cross roads (you know why).